Month: August 2019

My writing is a dialogue with my self…that might spill over into your life…

/ jill autrey dorman / Leave a comment

I have come to see that most of this need to write is a dialogue with my self in which I sort out, define, and narrate my beliefs, my perceptions, and my life…

When my Mom recently passed away I used writing as a tool to grieve, mourn, and rejoice. I use words to give Praise to God who, by faith I believe in and trust. I use writing to rail against injustice and to also humble my self that I don’t have a right to judge anyone. I have always loved The written word.

scribbles on wall

Photo by Jimmy Chan

The power of The Word that put on flesh are the words that I hold most dear. This Word lives and moves and creates and forgives and heals…

I recently have been thinking about the divide in the Church regarding the inerrant Word of God and how each believer must make their stand regarding the Bible being wholly literal or not. I know it is literal and inerrant…

In our flesh we can use the Bible and make it say something it doesn’t. For example taking the word “submission” and turning it into a way to manipulate and control others but in the context of the whole character of God and His Word Jesus clearly examples for us that submission to His Father  was based on honor and glory with humility. What a difference context makes.

Sometimes there are no words for me to express the profound treasures of life but I like the challenge of attempting to anyway.  Perhaps in heaven I will be allowed to write Psalms and poems to worship Jesus with…

My motivation and passion is to connect with others by something I see or have experienced and put such descriptive words on paper the the reader will feel that they are not alone in their story…

So whether it really matters in the big picture I don’t know but using words to speak life is exactly what Jesus did… ” and the  Word became flesh and dwelt among us! My word for that is Hallelujah! ”

 

 

 

 

I’m a little tapped out on my self right now…

/ jill autrey dorman / 1 Comment
long exposure photography of water drop

Photo by Fabiano Rodrigues

 

a little tapped out on my self right now

need to get my self off my hands

let someone else give the care right now

I’m just doing the best I can

 

No questions now please,  just sit with me

Feel  the sweet summer rain wash us clean

Let go of all the would haves should haves

Sit in the moment of now and not what has been

 

 

“Death begins with bad feet…”

/ jill autrey dorman / Leave a comment
man wearing military uniform and walking through woods

Photo by Specna Arms

The older experienced soldier watched as twenty new young men were milling about the base. He knew they had no clue what they were in for. The Korean “police action” at the 38th parallel between South Korea supported by the  United Nations  (largely the United States of America) against North Korea supported by China and The Soviet Union. The older soldier was still recovering from the unexpected and brutal Battle at Naktong River. That is where his best buddy’s feet went bad. The wet boots along with pouring down rain never allowed much time for drying out. His buddy didn’t even try to get his feet dry and by the time the battle ended his feet were black. Three weeks later he was dead. The Koreans have a saying, “death begins with bad feet.”

My take away from this wisdom is that I have learned to pay attention to where my feet are walking on this journey of life. The small things. My feet get soggy with the cares of the material world of what people think of me. According to scripture we are in spiritual warfare as believers who follow Christ…

For the follower of Christ Jesus  we are taught to put on the armour of God for the daily warfare with an evil , fallen world. Part of that armour described in Ephesians 6 encourages us to Shod our feet with the Gospel, the Good News that the Savior of the world has come.

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation…Isaiah 52:7

 

The Solution to your suffering is not what you think it is…

/ jill autrey dorman / 2 Comments
window church crucifixion church window

Photo by Pixabay

 

So Truth for me came as a shock. I grew up in a well meaning Christian and Bible following home and Church but I believe there was a message given (without malice) that if “we all just come give our hearts to Jesus, everything will be good!’…

And we who have lived very long know this is absolutely untrue. Being a preacher’s daughter I went to tons of youth events, revival, camp outings where this was the mantra.

I believe what these well meaning loving people were saying (be it naive) is that we all are in need of a Savior for we are born enemies of God and  dead in our sin without him. They were trying to present the Gospel but they left out one important Truth…suffering.

You see, the young girl who gives her life to Christ at your youth camp still goes home to her alcoholic mother when all is done. The boy on the football team that everybody loves still goes home to a Dad who tells him he is useless because he isn’t starting quarterback. So what occurs is the seed of their “moment” with the Lord (which I believe can be real but often is not) falls on the rocky, painful  soil and is quickly plucked away by the pain of this world!

I believe that Truth is a person. Truth is the person of Jesus Christ. Jesus even tells us he is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. The Truth is not pretty and tied up all in a bow. The Truth is not a Hallmark movie.

The Truth is a snot slinging, earth shattering  cry of repentance and pain and sorrow into a bloody, brutal battle and only Truth can win that sin battle. Only Truth has the Sword of the Words of life and that sword must pierce you right where you are but know this He, Jesus, Truth suffered more than your mind can comprehend. He despised the shame, our shame. He scorned our sin that he would have to bear for us to live in the presence of the Holy One! Truth got slaughtered and hung on a tree for us!

So if after you accept Christ you still have your alcoholic spouse, or a son on drugs, or a daughter date raped and pregnant, or a Church that hurts you, or a failed missionary vision…you see where my heart is going here…people Jesus came to save us from these messes we have made that have caused Him so much suffering. Life without Jesus is NO LIFE AT ALL but make no mistake Life with Jesus is the Way you get through the suffering of your broken sinful life and gradually you realize the suffering is how you really know who Jesus is and that your suffering is nothing compared to the Matchless Glory of His Grace! Do not be surprised by suffering friend. Follow closely beside The Christ, who is the Truth because he has walked this path before us. Follow Him.

 

Kneeling at the idols of burning dreams…

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man kneeling in front of cross

Photo by Pixabay 

No I didn’t worship as the pagans do or did I? That realization was a rude awakening for a girl raised in the knowledge of Christ and the Bible. Hey, those false, other gods had nothing to do with me or did/do they?

I have always been curious and believe I now know why John the Apostle wrote in the last verse of his book “children, be aware of idols.”

I have read and read that Gospel of John’s and that verse always convicted me.

After bowing down to man made works (supposedly for God), after walking many miles in my journey with Jesus I have come to know that everything and everyone put before God in my life is an idol. Sounds simple yes but it is gut wrenching because my idols come in the love of grandchildren, love of admiration, love of being right, love of caring for the sick, the love of (fill in the blank)…

As a young woman I believe my idols were rooted in the identity given me by birth. Later I believe my idols were turned to the insecurity of fitting in so I would do what everyone else was doing. Just to fit in. I could list them all but the one in my older years that finally got my spiritual attention like no other was when my first grandchild was born. Oh how God has lavished his love upon those of us who are given grandchildren!  It is a good reward undeserved but  I began to put that love above everyone and everything. I didn’t even realize how deep I had waded into that “good” idolatry.

But God… in his purity and fury thundered through to me one sleepless night as I was telling him that he felt so distant lately. I had taken a gift of Joy and great love and delight and turned it in to a god!

How could that be I said? I am following you Lord. I felt His Spirit say, “if you follow me then you must put no other gods before me…”

So I knelt down before my Lord had one of those snot slinging, sobbing moments of repentance…

Paul wrote, “for what do you have that you did not receive? If you received it then how can you boast about anything?” 1 Corinthians 4:7

 

The Shadow of A Poet

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backlit dark dawn environment

Photo by Pixabay 

 

I want to sleep deeply in a minor key

Need that old emerald sea washing over me

Sprinkles of “should have” drop into the sand

A seeker, a woman, just had to love that man

 

I put my mind on pause till the midnight moonrise

I smile a reverent smile when the church bells chime

Painted soft flames of love lick around my heart

The shadow of a poet she is only catching sparks