Author: jill autrey dorman

I start throwing my fear around…

/ jill autrey dorman / Leave a comment

 

brown mountain splashed with water from sea

Photo by Samuel Wölfl

The sound of blood thundering in my ears…crashing to shore like a wave on a cliff crushing all the breath from my body. Utter fear pounding and pounding in my brain. My heart aches with the “unknowing” of a thing. A small blip of Faith still beats now and again. My eyes see no pathway. My ears only hear a rushing like thunder…wild and furious are my thoughts. Will He BE who He says He is? Doubt mocks me with every second of my pain…is there another moment left to me? I must now meet my God who loves me…oh yes, I will meet Him here or there…where there is no marking of time. It is God who justifies. Will I flesh out what I say I believe? Not by MY might and not by MY spirit but by the Lord’s “no holes barred” power alone. Right now! Right here! Loss, fear, joy, war, victory, death, and life…I cry out without words or sound…blip, blip, faith, blip, blip, faith…then a wisp of Presence. A command for Peace. I cry to The One I have never seen and then sight of soul dawns like morning.

 

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, [39] Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.     (Romans 8:38,39)

The first time I touched heaven…

/ jill autrey dorman / 2 Comments
sky sunny clouds cloudy

Photo by Skitterphoto

The first time I touched heaven I was a five year old little girl who knelt down beside her parents and prayed to Jesus, who loves me…The faith of a child was heaven…I touched  the face of pure love. I prayed to Trust Jesus.

A twenty one year old college girl alone in the sand and sea with Hope renewed. I touched the King of the Kingdom and I confessed all my fear and failure… and we walked anew.

A thirty year old wife and mother…tired and scared of what I didn’t know. I touched the Spirit of God and he whispered to me that He would never leave me…I rejoiced in Peace.

A thirty-four year old woman who was breaking her marriage and her life and had depression and despaired of the goodness of God…but he gave me a man who would not walk away and I touched a Faith restored in God’s goodness.

A forty-five year old daughter I put my Daddy in his earthly grave and a light went out of me in this world but the Light of the World kept shining and I touched the Power of the Resurrection in Jesus Christ.

A sixty-three year old grandmother of five…I kneel each day in gratitude for every breath and every family memory…I touch Joy unspeakable and full of Glory…

When I leave this body to go to my Father’s house…I will go to The One who died for me and I will touch eternity and live forevermore in His presence finally touching my Lord who is Heaven…

The coldest nights are God’s mercy (survival is fear based and slides into dying)

/ jill autrey dorman / Leave a comment
cold dark eerie environment

Photo by Pixabay 

It is the coldest night in years

The heavens in the sky so clear

The burden on her back slid off her shoulders

She thought,  I must lay down this boulder…

 

It is  time the voice said, there is no more to do

I want you to leave this burden here tonight

Survival is fear based and slides into dying

Thriving mercy comes from Me the voice cried…

 

She lay down on the cold ground shivering

When she woke a spring morning shining

She looked around with a pounding in her mind

And the boulder was no where in sight…

 

 

Proverbs of a Foolish Man

/ jill autrey dorman / 4 Comments

pexels-photo-279815.jpeg
from freight trains to Ferraris
cigarette butts in the gutter to Cuban cigars
wanted to go home so many times
but it was just too damn hard…
hidden in the desert rock and sailed the Aegean sea
scrounged like a pauper and feasted like a King
ran and ran as fast as I could
but still could not get away from me…
she deserved a better man than me
she is the whole of good and light as can be
gripped all my shame then threw it in her face
and she rose above it as she walked on in grace…
These are the Proverbs of a foolish man
Please hear this and then walk another way
Avoid the Proverbs of this foolish man
the price is much too high to pay…

Two Angels in Sodom

/ jill autrey dorman / Leave a comment
abstract angelic art blast

Photo by Sebastian Voortman

 

From the purity of Heaven’s halls

to the famous hedonism of Sodom

Two Angels obey The Master’s call…

The earth heaves and groans in it’s underbelly

hail fire scorches, giant stones demolish the walls!

 

Two Angels in Sodom save the only Remnant known

those who remain yours Oh Lord God

In the midst of unholy abomination

The Holy One will restore the Glory of His Name

Two Angels in America prepare for our rescue!

Sharp Shooter on the roof tops…

/ jill autrey dorman / Leave a comment
automatic weapon bullet camouflage close up

Photo by Pixabay

 

I dream I am  in guerrilla warfare, watching for sharp shooters on the roof tops

The King was right when he said we do not fight flesh and bone

Yet we insist on killing our own over and over,  the choice made, cannot be taken back

There are many traitors among us, or most likely they never were a child of the King

They look just like me so I cannot know who will gun me down, it is not for me to judge

The Truth can pierce the bone from the marrow, I know because it happened to me…

I must don God’s armor at all times, be vigilant in lie detection, oh the enemy is so smooth, it is a false light…

My heart is pounding, I cannot be silent, for every day is a day of war in the spiritual realm, to immense to be ignored.

The manifold wisdom of God sees all, the Captain of the host holds all power in his name, Messiah, Jesus, God with us

So I take up my weapons… the belt  of Truth, the shield of Faith, the helmet of Salvation …

I continue to walk behind the enemy line for I know the Battle is the Lord’s, I long to remain a diligent warrior

The sharp shooter is still on the roof, the scope on the rifle is aimed at my head, I can see his eyes dead like dolls eyes

I choose to keep walking…

 

I walk on vigilant always for any inkling of the enemy’s presence…deafening silence

yet in a split-second a pervasive white mist envelopes me…

I feel heavy weight and aching in my body  and spirit,  it is the supreme stealth weapon of the enemy

It is shame, my most relentless foe

The ballast of Shame slaughters aggressively,  the deadliest of weapons, worse than sarin  gas…

If I don’t kill it, it will kill me and all it touches, shame is unholy from hell

I cry out to the King,  blood seeping from my chest, a razor-sharp slice

I did not feel it at the point of entry

Towering above the shame the King appears, brandishing his two-edged sword

it blazes and radiates like a million Suns, in a blink the sharp shooter

on the roof top falls dead

I am blind now, crouching down behind my shield of Faith

the King wields his Holy two-edged sword and shame screeches like the demon it is…

instantly there is silence, my heart is no longer bleeding, I regain my sight

The Holy Spirit is the watchman, the Angels encamp around me

I savor the Holy rest of  victory this day…

 

I

 

Not even scorpions will inhabit the desolate Judean desert…

/ jill autrey dorman / Leave a comment

 

flight pigeon twig

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Just declared to be God’s only Son. The voice and the dove announced it to the world. Driven straight out by God’s Spirit to the wilderness of Judea where not even scorpions will  live…

No food or water upon these forty days. He who is announced and ordained now lay weak, trembling near death only to now be approached by Satan…

Satan, the shining one come to accuse The Word of God. If you are the Son of God??? Compared to Eden the destruction of the Second Adam seems it might be an easy victory…

 

Fear is a wilderness where the devil runs around

He tempted Jesus there now he wants to take me down

Fear is a wilderness where death creeps up on trust

The water is polluted, hope turns into dust

Fear is a wilderness where Jesus walked alone

Oh but The King of Ages left the wilderness undone!

 

Jesus never once defended his identity or Godly position. He knew that Satan knew it well. For even Satan and all his demons tremble at His name. He the Second Adam would destroy all death and hell! For the living Word is his name and his Word is more powerful than any two edged sword!

 

It was the brightest sky in a hundred years

/ jill autrey dorman / Leave a comment

 

amazing astronomy background bright

Photo by Luck Galindo

It was the brightest sky in a hundred years

an ancient song that drew me here

There is no burdened that these stars will fall

I know you will answer when I call

 

Like a dazzling topaz you fill my sky

as you drift from me to that Holy high

I knew that you were glad to go

though selfishly I did not want it so

 

Then you spoke to me in that gentle way

There are worse things then dying you said that day

I cried and agreed but did not want you leave

but we both know the One in whom we believe

 

For He holds all our days and all our joys

although I can no longer hear your voice

Today I know you’re both watching over us

The family that you love so much