I wish our story was prettier than it is…

 

white and blue horse carousel

Photo by V gtrei

You took the hammer and rang the bell

Won me a stuffed animal with a cotton candy smell

but I dropped the dream and walked away

there was just no more games I wanted to play

 

I wish  our story was prettier than it is

I stared for days at that Ferris wheel

no carnival or a carousel  left to ride with you

at least I finally saw the Truth

 

You took the hammer and rang the bell

you said it isn’t working out so well

I wish there was prettier story to tell

like all the  horses on the carousel

 

 

Everybody moving blindly forward…

school of fish

Photo by Matthew T Rader

Everybody moving blindly forward, like fish in a shoal

How long have we been losing touch with our souls?

Everybody hating what they can not  understand

 

We surely did not gain good from the knowledge of evil

We surely forsook the only wise God and Creator

We tried to be our own gods but could not do it better

 

I know this is not how the story ends for His image bearers

I know the Master Writer’s plan can not be thwarted

Let it be oh Lord I pray  our Faith be made sight today

The emptiness of my conceit and arrogance…

photo of river during daytime

Photo by Ionut Cerchia

 

As I sat in the still and In the mess

In the emptiness of my own conceit and arrogance

The old man with white hair said,

“these are your thorns to bear…”

 

When the only free person in the room

Is the one who is in chains

Then it is time to look at what man calls “justice”

Pontius Pilate could not deny his claims

 

It is in vulnerability that God’s Grace comes

It is in the mourning that the Grief is fulfilled

It is in the freedom of Truth that I want to run

It is in humility that true courage is spilled

 

 

The Legend of Annie Bell

 

grayscale photo of woman having breakfast

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood 

She never scoured with tears

Not her face, not her life, not her floor

She was as strong as the Mississippi’s speed

And tougher than the man who made her bleed

 

Relentless in love, quiet and strong was her way

Not hardened but not taking back her living

Until one day she took that shotgun round

The shot that rang out put him in the ground

 

She did not scour herself with tears

She washed herself clean in the blood

She held her head high for her children

That man would never make anyone else bleed again

 

Gray against gray the dawn awakens

abstract ash burn burning

 

When you stand close to His gypsy fire

your heart will hear a blue cold note

He will burn you with his lies

but His truth will hurt the most

 

He has always been a runner

and cares nothing for all he has not been

He will stoke his gypsy fire higher

and steal your heart away again

 

Gray against gray the dawn awakens

the grayest ashes have all turned cold

Just when you believe his dreams were real

you will find to the highest bidder you were sold

I was flayed open with a razor sharp knife

silhouette of girl during evening

Photo by luizclas

He was the only one there in that dark still night

I was flayed open with a razor sharp knife

He said are you ready to rise from the dead?

Through sobs and his blood yes was all I said

 

He said I am the love you are counting on

I am the only One when all  others are gone

I am the one who carries you when you fall

Through doubts and sorrow I’ve paid it all

 

He is the one who  gave His all for me

He fought for me to the bloody end

And on that day when He rose again

He said I am all I have ever been

 

He held me there as life seeped in

He is everything no one else has been

He is my champion, teacher, Redeemer, and friend

He is the one I will count on until the end

 

 

 

 

 

” Knowledge and Truth are not the same, never be deceived by that…” Dr. Hud McWilliams

alphabet class conceptual cube

Photo by Pixabay 

 

I am not anyone’s authority on what they read, or who they listen to or what blogs they like to follow. I just know that for me, a little caution bell went off in my head the other day about “rightly dividing the Word of Truth” and the heavy responsibility that goes with it.
Jesus said, “See that no one lead you astray.” Matthew 24:4
We often think of humility as an awareness of our faults, but humility is an awareness of our limitations.

Here is why I am discerning a red flag in my head and am being led by the Holy Spirit to “check” myself and who I am following.

Over 20 million women (conservative number) are known to follow someone like Glennon Doyle Melton, Jen Hatmaker, Beth Moore, Priscilla Shire, Jennie Allen (If:Equip ministry), Ann VosKamp, Shauna Nyquist, Lysa TerKeurst (Proverbs 31 Ministries) or a group of women under the umbrella of “She Speaks Truth” ministry, and many more on Social Media.
Most of these ladies started out sharing their stories via Blog, or by writing books, and speaking engagements. The things they have to say obviously resonate with women. Whether it is how to cope in marriage, Motherhood, single life, health issues, spiritual issues, sexuality issues or just light subjects like decorating your home or cooking healthy.
This type of teaching and leadership, if you call it that, is taking off in “The Church” culture for women but are often para-ministries meaning they are not under Biblical authority, or are they? You must choose for yourself with the guidance of the very real and present Holy Spirit of God. Just because you agree with some things a woman might say doesn’t make her a Truth speaker.
Truth stands alone,  “outside of us” in our humanity until we become the daughters of God through Jesus Christ the Truth then dwells in us through the third person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit. We must not lose our humility and always walk in the fact that we are God’s children and we, who follow Jesus, are under his authority. He is Truth, this God/Man is Truth. Truth is a person not an ideal. Truth is not a feeling.
Humility is not seen much in this world. We must believe what God says about us and that is that we were dead in sin. Hopelessly lost, now saved by Grace through Christ Jesus.
Wisdom is always needed.  Not earthly Wisdom but True Wisdom that comes from God.
I read in scripture that Jesus first gives us strong and serious warnings to be aware of anyone’s teaching and the way to measure them is by “whose authority” do they speak, lead, guide, or teach?

So, Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” John 8:28

 

In James 3:1 James implores us “do not run” to teach and/or lead…”Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.) These gifts are surely costly gifts and come with heavy accountability before God.

 

What does Wise Living look like? In James chapters 1 and 2 is a pearl for living well and whole and fleshing out what we believe…
The wise woman will persevere


She cannot stop praising God or referencing God in her daily life.

She is slow to speak and quick to listen.


She is gentle, gentle, gentle!


She is a “doer” of God’s Word.


She leads a life of purity, not innocence but purity. There is no malice in her heart. She is not trying to gain reward for herself only for Jesus. We are called to “know Jesus” (intimately), and to make Him known (by our words, actions, and the intent of our heart.)


She does not show favoritism.


She controls her tongue.I

So knowledge without Truth is evil. Truth stands alone without my opinion.  Who I let teach or influence me matters. I shall I my self and all friends out there to take the time to really read and know the Bible so you will not be led astray. I can only hold up each one to the test of God’s Word outlined above.

Thinking on the page…

 

 

 

 

 

I can’t cover up your sin

adult autumn beauty blue

Photo by Pixabay

She said I can’t go through this again

I can’t cover up your sin

Anymore…

 

She just kept walking down the road

Trying to drop that heavy load

Somewhere…

 

Oh the days go better than the nights

The prayers crack through a little light

Sometimes…

 

The storm blows in like a runaway train

Jesus is standing there calling her name

Again…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bell Fright

door wooden bell old

Photo by Little Visuals

 

Her hooded gray blue eyes are unexpectedly bright

She speaks of the “old days, the days of Bell Fright

The terror, relentless ringing in the darkest hour of the night.

 

Communism she says, “did not deliver futures bright.”

Just more betrayal and fear, and torture called Bell Fright.

Not the Nazis, no but Comrades Stalin and Marx

Different regimes but same death toll ringing in their hearts.

 

Haunting broken melodies played on Hungarian violins

She still shivers with the memories of dark dank cells

She says  no one ever knew before  it could be so cold in hell.

 

This poem is inspired by the book Goodbye to Budapest by Margarita Morris and to all who have survived the Bell Fright of dictators of evil.

 

 

Where does Comfort hide on nights like this?

dark darkness loneliness mystery

Photo by Engin Akyurt

Where does Comfort hide on nights like this

when I feel all the loss and the ones I miss?

Comfort dodges me like shadows on the wall

I know I must renew my mind or else I will surely fall…

 

Fall into doubt of my firm foundation

Fall into distortion of Evil’s confrontations

Fall into fear and lies of what lay ahead

 

So I will fight for my heart with His Sword of Truth

I will fan the flame of Faith I have had since my youth

I will rejoice that His Grace is sufficient thus far

and Grace will lead me on as I travel this star…

I will kneel at the foot of His Holy Cross

I will give thanks for all I have gained and not lost

So as the Comforter whispers His command of sweet Peace

The night shadows vanish and all shadows must cease

Now I will rest in the arms of my Heavenly Dad

and fall into the best sleep there is to be had

 

…and be renewed in the spirit of your mind…  (Ephesians 4:23)