Author: jill autrey dorman

The solitude of mere humanity (another lesson from Job)

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person sky silhouette night

Photo by Snapwire

The solitude of mere humanity…without tasting the solitary aloneness of  yourself before the God who created you one cannot experience the path to the Cross of Jesus Christ. Our parents faith, our family, our worldly status, our friends cannot enter into this solitude with us. The paradox of the supernatural and eternal Unity of the Cross with the certainty that we each must meet and know God alone is the reality each human must face.  This is the story of Job and every other human.

There is no way around it but it need not be a terrifying solitude. We cannot hide from this meeting with the Holy.  It is an offensive, not defensive stance.  To come home like the Prodigal son, to repent, to rejoice in the Wholeness provided in Jesus. To remove the facade of religious and worldly answers and simply stand unashamed and naked like Adam did when he was molded from the dirt and dust of the earth in the wonderful marvelous light of God’s presence. There is an innocent soberness to this kind of solitude.  Just us before God without another single human being.

It is in the solitude of mere humanity where there is intimacy without playing games. We all experience a time of total loneliness in this life yet in that place something within us cries out to us that we are NOT alone.  Job experienced this. Jesus certainly experienced this in the most utmost sense of the word. God does not play games with us. We came into this world naked and alone and we will leave this world with the solitary escort of the Holy Spirit of God into the very presence of our Creator, Savior, and King Jesus. That is so astounding and kind and simple.

I believe that God is in love with our human-ness. We are his ultimate design an image bearer of our God. We are the Crown of his creation. Not only does God love us he delights in and trust us with the lives he has given us and in our solitary aloneness  with him we can know these truths intimately.

 

Morning Flight

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backlit bird clouds dark

Photo by George Becker

I take to the wings of morning tattered though they be

for I know the colors of the sunrise will lead me Lord to Thee

 

A flight, a poem, my sonnet  to your greatness

as if I am again in my youth soaring to your kindness

 

Nothing but spheres and beams of your radiant light I see

all darkness and death must finally flee

 

I take the wings of the morning  there you will be

as though there was ever Continue reading →

Psalm 73 (interpretation)

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heart shaped red neon signage

Photo by Designecologist

 

 

That familiar ache of longing

stings my heart again

My flesh and mind are failing

the Spirit within my only defense

 

Transparent in my need

find me once again

Vulnerable to the hurt of man

the certain pangs begin.

 

I declare you are my strength 

the Lover of my soul

I surely would have fallen

unless my God had taken hold

 

 

Night Stone Cold

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abstract architecture background brick

Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán 

Night stone cold

Jagged stone thrown

No concessions for the brave

     Or for the weak

 

Skilled stone cruel

Hot stone burns

Dancing as fast as you can

     Or falling

 

Perfect stone heart

Ravaged stone guards

Fill in the blank as expected

     Or be cast out

 

Night stone cold

The Cornerstone has come

Rest for all those weary

     Or all who will receive

 

“This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone.” Acts 4:11

 

Image Bearer

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white and black moon with black skies and body of water photography during night time

Photo by GEORGE DESIPRIS 

The ocean’s wind catches each regret, each sin, and sorrow throwing it into the eternity of a perfect God to be forever forgotten.  In the light of the moon a young woman, who thought the stars would stop shining above her found the Maker of the stars and the freedom and love and the lullaby He sang washing over her in waves. So now I am drifting, sailing and it was you who came for me.

On that day when the sun tipped over the edge of the earth and spilled colors like buckets of orange, pink, and violet as a reminder of the power of Holy light. The young woman once ravaged and scarred by guilt and shame found joy in the warmth of The Son. Lifted from the darkness you came for me.  You lifted me in your arms and by your own wounds, scars, and stripes you healed me.

This is the heartbeat of God’s love. The fractures, wounds, and scars are remarkably purified like gold after the pain of repentance has done its work making every person precious in His sight transforming us into the Holy wholeness of the Holy One whose image we bear.

In the end are not the scars part of the beauty? 

I think Jesus, when we meet him will show us his perfectly mended scars in his human-ness  even though He is now glorified. He is always perfect. I think he will say “yes, these scars represent each of you and they are beautiful.”

I’m not sure I want to be the writer of this page…

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white paper

Photo by Pixabay

 

I’m not sure I want to be the writer of this page. I know that words can be written and read leaving someone broken or they can leave another someone free...

I want to be light but I am often heavy. That is all on me. It is part of my wiring I suppose.

I am sure of this though. Eden has had not gone. It still is there in the fertile crescent where the four rivers dance down from the mount pouring out the water of life. The Tree of Life still stands in the center its leaves twirl gently in the milk gold sunshine that never sets.

While it is true that no unredeemed human can yet re-enter its guarded gate  there is an unspoken melody on the breeze that gently sings “oh but man and woman shall return and He, the King of glory will bring them in! No more tears will be shed, no more sin and dread shall darken the days of Eden the way it was…”

For the Lord our God is One!

See the Prince of Peace he walks among the trees. The evil fruit banished and gone forevermore and all God’s children are home! I hope these words find you free and light but if they find you heavy do not fear because Jesus is all about light and freedom. You are invited to himself just the way you are.

 

Beach Lullaby

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beach blur clouds dawn

Photo by Pixabay

Let me take you to my beach

where the sand is sugar white

 

The water blue as a daydream

laps the shore in three-quarter time

 

At night I’ll take you to the stars

where the sailing ships all go

 

Where salt water heals your skin

like a lullaby heals your soul.

White Fire Love (the lesson of relationship)

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art black and white burn color

Photo by George Becker 

 

It is not “the one that got a way” who breaks you. Oh sure it burns deeply for a long while but you aren’t broken. It is the “white fire love” that purges you of every single last thing you are holding on to that makes up your life. Your tapestry. Your little “g”-god, if you will.

These white fire loves are those closest to you. Those who have the power if you let them to hold your hand to the purest, hottest white fire and expose what relationships you truly have. This white fire is unpolluted light. It has no shadows. This kind of white fire is the lesson of relationship. It is the ingredient of being a whole, developing human being. This white fire love will either drive you into prideful manipulation or the empty abyss of isolation if you don’t let it do its work.

That is why God put us in marriages and gives us siblings and parents and children. These great loves in our lives are the vehicles that propel us into risking it all.

That is why God sent Jesus and why he gladly came and that is why in the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus prayed and asked if there was another way to atone for all sin. It wasn’t that Jesus didn’t want to die for us because he said, “it is done. I commit my self to death.” It is simply because Jesus IS the white fire love, in the flesh, the God/man with no shadows who could see all the evil that his white fire love would have to burn in order to reach us.

So, when your spouse or your Dad or your child “burn” you and you are broken and  hurting by something they did or didn’t do how will you respond? Will you let it purge you of perhaps your own selfishness, your self-protection, your wounds, your entitlement issue, or will  you get in your old little worn out row-boat and row out to the abyss of isolation and just “lick your wounds” or perhaps be a martyr?

None of those actions will purge your soul with  white fire love. White Fire Love will let you be patient, let you be resilient, let you love when they are unlovely, and it will leave you with a heart of gratitude for the relationship you have with that person.

White Fire Love will let you grow and develop into wholeness. White Fire love is love like Jesus does. Now that is the Love that I don’t want to let “get away.”

The White Fire Love of God will free you.