This is where I leave you

 

close up photography of hand near window

Photo by Renato Mu 

This is where I leave you my bright and beautiful child

You won’t know my pain of letting go at least not for a while

I had dreamed that we would always be this free

But now I know you will not have the same dreams as me

A living ache piercing to such depth I have never known

That you would ever think me less than the one who loves you so

 

 

 

 

 

The girl on the side street…

astronomy dark dawn dusk

Photo by Matheus Bertelli

Once I was the girl on the side street flashing in and out of the dark. I was taught a role to play for the well being of my family and for my Dad’s livelihood.  I played it well. Such a mix of tender family moments peppered with the fear that maybe Jesus didn’t really come for me…

…now the ocean’s wind catches each regret, each sin, and sorrow throwing it into the eternity of a perfect God to be forever forgotten.  In the light of the moon a young woman, who thought the stars would stop shining above her found the Maker of the stars and the freedom and love and the lullaby when He sang a Holy song baptizing over her in waves. So now I am drifting, sailing and it was you who came for me.

On that day when the sun tipped over the edge of the earth and spilled colors like buckets of orange, pink, and violet as a reminder of the power of Holy light. The young woman once ravaged and scarred by guilt and shame found joy in the warmth of The Son. Lifted from the darkness you came for me.  You hold me in your arms and by your own wounds, scars, and stripes you heal me. The girl on the side street finally came home…

All her colors run together on the floor

beautiful calm clouds dark

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

All her colors run together on the floor…

she has been here so many times before

She is sure this time they will stone her

Condemnation beats in her heart and her soul is torn…

 

His gentle words were more than she had hoped for…

He bent down in the dirt and wrote a word

He spoke gently lifting her face to see Heaven

“No one here can condemn you anymore…”

 

All the colors of New life swirled around her at once

Blood red drops in the dirt became white as snow

the blue of the sky filled with angels singing “gloria! ”

He said, ” your sins are forgiven now you are whole… “

I’m not far from that girl

jill

1975

She is still keen on being loved for who she is inside

Her gray – blue eyes can still cut through a room looking for true hearts

and she still feels poetry in music and loves a Rocky Mountain high…

 

I’ll raise a silver chalice to the girl I was in my youth

She is always  with me never far from where I am

and she loves the life she is given walking strongly in the Truth…

 

Her thoughts still flow on paper and she still gazes  at the stars

A few times we have both flown too close to the Sun

I am older now and wiser and that girl is never far…

Hope Remains, is my story

red lighted candle

Photo by icon0.com on Pexels.com

 

 I have a Story given me by my Maker

A heart fierce yet ravaged ever in need of saving

I’ve been given clear eyes to see the Holy One

To shed tears of remorse washing away bitterness

And I’ve been given healing in these two hands

To share the balm I have received  and know that Hope remains

 

I have not seen all the wonders of this world

I have not walked with the noble nor do I own anything of worth

I have not known wealth or fame but I do know  joy and pain

And I’ve been given life and love far beyond all earthly gain

I pray for humility and a heart full of gratitude running over

To share the balm I have received and know that Hope remains

 

My Beating Heart

i hate nothing about you with red heart light

Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

 

At times my heart is like a quivering bird in this cage of Flesh and bone

I know it will not withstand such a relentless seige

 

At times my heart is like a big bass drum

I know it will strike strong with the rhythm and the beat!

 

It feels as if I am dying and I cannot stay the course

Then it feels as if I am a warrior crying out “all is victorious!”

 

Some say this is a fickle heart but I know this is not true

For I know this heart in me comes from the heart in you!

 

 

 

No Additives

 

 

alcohol bar beverage black background

Photo by freestocks.org

 

He heals the wounds of a ravaged heart

                                                   oh fathom lavish love!

Drink his grace straight up

                                                  fill oh fill my cup!

No one else will care like this

                                               oh death where is thy sting?

Drink his grace straight up

                                             fill oh fill my cup!

Cannot add to him or take him away

                                            oh pure the bread and wine!

Drink his grace straight up

                                           fill oh fill my cup!

 

 

The Cross of Jesus is the most inglorious event in all of mankind’s history yet is the only event that makes our Glory legitimate…

person lying on cart

Photo by HARSH KUSHWAHA

God spoke, “I looked, but there was no one to help; I was appalled, but there was no one to uphold; so my own arm brought me salvation, and my righteous wrath upheld me.” Isaiah 63:5

The theology (meaning study of…) of the Cross vs. The theology of Glory jumped out at me while reading again the book called The Gospel According to Job  by Mike Mason which I have been reading for over five years along with The Discipline of Disturbance  by Hud McWilliams, who has been my spiritual mentor for over twenty-nine years.

All of that to say it absolutely astounded me  when I realized that there is no glory in the Cross. The monumental indescribable event that took place on that cross was one of absolutely NO glory yet it is exactly that event on that cross that makes Glory for you and I a legitimate option through the obedience of Jesus to die on that cross. and be given by God the Father the Sovereign rule forever. It stirred me so that I could not eat or sleep.

The spirituality of the Cross and those of us who trust in The One who died up on it is that it seeks God and ONLY God and here is the kicker, the work on the cross of Jesus would accept NO GLORY!  There is no glory in sin. God himself is the significant value of the Cross!!! Jesus humbled himself  only seeking God’s will and then doing it.

Glory to God is useless if humans conjure it up in themselves. We see it all around us in the Church. A mega church boasting about their numbers of attendance. The church member who judges others who cannot seem to overcome their sin issues  but never  repenting of their own or the supposed Christian celebrities that millions follow on social media and accept their teachings because they are popular.

The Glory belongs to Jesus and Jesus alone, who’ s very essence is God,  yet on that cross he was a son, a man who had not sought ANY glory for himself only his Father’s.

“Never build your case for forgiveness on the idea that God is our Father and He will forgive us because he loves us. God forgives sin ONLY because of the death of Christ…anything that LESSENS the holiness of God through a false view of His love, contradicts the truth of God as REVEALED by Jesus Christ…”  Oswald Chambers

The lesson is that the Cross is for those who will walk by simple faith seeking no glory of our own. Oh that I might grasp this Truth today and everyday for one day my Faith will be made sight and the glory will be more than eternity can hold. Not mine but His.

“The Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing but to those who are being saved it is the power of God.”  1 Corinthians 1:18