Remember, Hold on for One More Day

My friend is dying. We have been the truest of friends over fifty years. My smart, (I am talking qualifies for Mensa smart), funny, and oh so beautiful friend. We do not speak of dying much. We have long since beaten that “dead horse” (pun intended) a while ago. The buckets of tears, prayers, questions, meeting new Doctors, holding it together for family members…yes, we do all of that together because we must.

My friend is not a person who wants or needs attention. In fact, she is always calling to check on me! She is navigating the cruelest road I can imagine, and I have seen my share of people dying due to my career. My Friend and I talk about how Death is hideous in any form. This does not mean my friend is always perfect or even doing okay because this disease is as cruel as any out there. There are days when she cannot speak or move. There are days she will not stop talking. There are days she cries all day long and other days where she is watching Netflix and stuffs her face with pizza…

We see each other as much as possible or speak on the phone. Every time we part, she says, “remember and Hold on for one more day.” Recently I asked her to explain , and she said, “do you ever enjoy something so much like Christmas morning, or going to your child’s first school play, or your wedding day (or divorce day), or even being with someone when they die but when that day or event is over you know you won’t feel that again for another year or maybe ever?” She looked at me with her spring-green eyes and said, “We, all of us, every single human, are Trusted by the God who made us with remembering those sparks that make life such a treasure. So, we string those bits and glimpses of human treasures together like rare pearls and wear them near our heart. We must remember what love is, remember the sensation of sun on our face, or salt water on our lips. Remember our lover’s breath in our ear and our baby’s smell, and all the while we know that the next day everything will not be like it was on THIS day! So, when I say Remember and hold on for one more day, I am just saying tomorrow could bring a moment of sweetness, ecstatic happiness, or smooth Joy or a sunset in colors never seen before. Tomorrow could gift us a happening, an event, a feeling, a treasure that we never had before…so I just keep remembering and hold on for one more day. When I die, I will be wearing those pearls.”

Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.” Matthew 13:45-46

But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”— 2Corinthians 2:9

Sweet Eyes

I was looking for a man just like you

but that man was not a runner.

I was looking for a man just like you

but that man was not a Film Flam man.

Just like you but did not tell lies

Just like you but wanted ties

A man like you took my heart away

A man that pretended dreams were true

A man like you who fooled us all

Yes, my sweet eyes were looking for a man

But He was never you.

I Quit Dancing with Fear…

I quit dancing with Fear, such a vicious dance it is.

That same old dark day over and over no longer exist.

Yes, there are days when I hear Fear’s discorded melody.

Now I am mindful to Trust in the Holy One’s remedy.

 So, He helps me lift a Holy song and begin His song over me.

Quickly Fear is on the run as this Coward must flee.

The Drum Keeps Pounding…

pexels-photo-247195.jpeg

Kill or be killed.

How can a baby tell?

How can the government know your heart?

How can the abuse drum on?

Politicians poison consistently flows.

The children all die inside and out!

Kill or be killed.

Who made you this way?

Beat the drum until all is in ruin.

Drums pounding our sanity away!

The world’s words…

black smoke coming from fire

Photo by Pixabay 

The World’s words cannot clothe themselves in peace.

All of this death has a life to each.

Millions of human lives taken cannot be a number.

A child is playing in her yard, daddy taken away by war.

Common sense is a safe boundary no more.

The road seems shorter than it was before.

Countries are convulsing insanity roars.

Letters tied in yellowed ribbon rotted to the core.

These words lack weight and I close the door.

She Took Her Love

person soaking on body of water

Photo by Victor Freitas

She took her love to walk awhile beneath a crescent moon

While they gazed upon the quicksilver in the stars

She told him she had lost her way among the sandy dunes

But the tide had brought her back again from somewhere very far

She took her love to sail awhile upon the indigo night sea

While they caressed the salty thick spray upon their faces

She told him she had found her way among the sand and sea

And that God had made her his own among these ocean places

The burden of the Flesh…the two wolves

white wolves in green grass

Photo by patrice schoefolt Pexels.com

There is an old Cherokee proverb that says there are two wolves at war within us. One wolf desires to do what is right, to choose Love every time. The other wolf is hateful and selfish and ravages everything and everyone to get his own way and the wolf that wins is the wolf you Feed.

The man said to his son,

“One wolf is evil, which is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

“The other wolf is good, which is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

I find this interesting in that this is exactly what the Bible teaches us. As human beings we can either feed our lust, lying, selfish, dark Sin nature or we can feed our Spirit. We can think on things from above.

God is Spirit and Jesus said that to truly worship and relate to God you must be given the Holy Spirit. Jesus is the only way to have a Holy Spirit.

My Mother said to me once, “if you feed your flesh you flesh will grow, if you feed your Spirit your Spirit will grow.” At the time I didn’t know she got that straight out of Romans chapters 7 and 8 and Galatians 5.

So which wolf are you feeding? It is a daily choice.