The first time I touched heaven…

sky sunny clouds cloudy

Photo by Skitterphoto

The first time I touched heaven I was a five year old little girl who knelt down beside her parents and prayed to Jesus, who loves me…The faith of a child was heaven…I touched  the face of pure love. I prayed to Trust Jesus.

A twenty one year old college girl alone in the sand and sea with Hope renewed. I touched the King of the Kingdom and I confessed all my fear and failure… and we walked anew.

A thirty year old wife and mother…tired and scared of what I didn’t know. I touched the Spirit of God and he whispered to me that He would never leave me…I rejoiced in Peace.

A thirty-four year old woman who was breaking her marriage and her life and had depression and despaired of the goodness of God…but he gave me a man who would not walk away and I touched a Faith restored in God’s goodness.

A forty-five year old daughter I put my Daddy in his earthly grave and a light went out of me in this world but the Light of the World kept shining and I touched the Power of the Resurrection in Jesus Christ.

A sixty-three year old grandmother of five…I kneel each day in gratitude for every breath and every family memory…I touch Joy unspeakable and full of Glory…

When I leave this body to go to my Father’s house…I will go to The One who died for me and I will touch eternity and live forevermore in His presence finally touching my Lord who is Heaven…

The coldest nights are God’s mercy (survival is fear based and slides into dying)

cold dark eerie environment

Photo by Pixabay 

It is the coldest night in years

The heavens in the sky so clear

The burden on her back slid off her shoulders

She thought,  I must lay down this boulder…

 

It is  time the voice said, there is no more to do

I want you to leave this burden here tonight

Survival is fear based and slides into dying

Thriving mercy comes from Me the voice cried…

 

She lay down on the cold ground shivering

When she woke a spring morning shining

She looked around with a pounding in her mind

And the boulder was no where in sight…

 

 

Proverbs of a Foolish Man

pexels-photo-279815.jpeg
from freight trains to Ferraris
cigarette butts in the gutter to Cuban cigars
wanted to go home so many times
but it was just too damn hard…
hidden in the desert rock and sailed the Aegean sea
scrounged like a pauper and feasted like a King
ran and ran as fast as I could
but still could not get away from me…
she deserved a better man than me
she is the whole of good and light as can be
gripped all my shame then threw it in her face
and she rose above it as she walked on in grace…
These are the Proverbs of a foolish man
Please hear this and then walk another way
Avoid the Proverbs of this foolish man
the price is much too high to pay…

Sharp Shooter on the roof tops…

automatic weapon bullet camouflage close up

Photo by Pixabay

 

I dream I am  in guerrilla warfare, watching for sharp shooters on the roof tops

The King was right when he said we do not fight flesh and bone

Yet we insist on killing our own over and over,  the choice made, cannot be taken back

There are many traitors among us, or most likely they never were a child of the King

They look just like me so I cannot know who will gun me down, it is not for me to judge

The Truth can pierce the bone from the marrow, I know because it happened to me…

I must don God’s armor at all times, be vigilant in lie detection, oh the enemy is so smooth, it is a false light…

My heart is pounding, I cannot be silent, for every day is a day of war in the spiritual realm, to immense to be ignored.

The manifold wisdom of God sees all, the Captain of the host holds all power in his name, Messiah, Jesus, God with us

So I take up my weapons… the belt  of Truth, the shield of Faith, the helmet of Salvation …

I continue to walk behind the enemy line for I know the Battle is the Lord’s, I long to remain a diligent warrior

The sharp shooter is still on the roof, the scope on the rifle is aimed at my head, I can see his eyes dead like dolls eyes

I choose to keep walking

 

I walk on vigilant always for any inkling of the enemy’s presence…deafening silence

yet in a split-second a pervasive white mist envelopes me…

I feel heavy weight and aching in my body  and spirit,  it is the supreme stealth weapon of the enemy

It is shame, my most relentless foe

The ballast of Shame slaughters aggressively,  the deadliest of weapons, worse than sarin  gas…

If I don’t kill it, it will kill me and all it touches, shame is unholy from hell

I cry out to the King,  blood seeping from my chest, a razor-sharp slice

I did not feel it at the point of entry

Towering above the shame the King appears, brandishing his two-edged sword

it blazes and radiates like a million Suns, in a blink the sharp shooter

on the roof top falls dead

I am blind now, crouching down behind my shield of Faith

the King wields his Holy two-edged sword and shame screeches like the demon it is…

instantly there is silence, my heart is no longer bleeding, I regain my sight

The Holy Spirit is the watchman, the Angels encamp around me

I savor the Holy rest of  victory this day…

 

I

 

Not even scorpions will inhabit the desolate Judean desert…

 

flight pigeon twig

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Just declared to be God’s only Son. The voice and the dove announced it to the world. Driven straight out by God’s Spirit to the wilderness of Judea where not even scorpions will  live…

No food or water upon these forty days. He who is announced and ordained now lay weak, trembling near death only to now be approached by Satan…

Satan, the shining one come to accuse The Word of God. If you are the Son of God??? Compared to Eden the destruction of the Second Adam seems it might be an easy victory…

 

Fear is a wilderness where the devil runs around

He tempted Jesus there now he wants to take me down

Fear is a wilderness where death creeps up on trust

The water is polluted, hope turns into dust

Fear is a wilderness where Jesus walked alone

Oh but The King of Ages left the wilderness undone!

 

Jesus never once defended his identity or Godly position. He knew that Satan knew it well. For even Satan and all his demons tremble at His name. He the Second Adam would destroy all death and hell! For the living Word is his name and his Word is more powerful than any two edged sword!

 

It was the brightest sky in a hundred years

 

amazing astronomy background bright

Photo by Luck Galindo

It was the brightest sky in a hundred years

an ancient song that drew me here

There is no burdened that these stars will fall

I know you will answer when I call

 

Like a dazzling topaz you fill my sky

as you drift from me to that Holy high

I knew that you were glad to go

though selfishly I did not want it so

 

Then you spoke to me in that gentle way

There are worse things then dying you said that day

I cried and agreed but did not want you leave

but we both know the One in whom we believe

 

For He holds all our days and all our joys

although I can no longer hear your voice

Today I know you’re both watching over us

The family that you love so much

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m a little tapped out on my self right now…

long exposure photography of water drop

Photo by Fabiano Rodrigues

 

a little tapped out on my self right now

need to get my self off my hands

let someone else give the care right now

I’m just doing the best I can

 

No questions now please,  just sit with me

Feel  the sweet summer rain wash us clean

Let go of all the would haves should haves

Sit in the moment of now and not what has been

 

 

Kneeling at the idols of burning dreams…

man kneeling in front of cross

Photo by Pixabay 

No I didn’t worship as the pagans do or did I? That realization was a rude awakening for a girl raised in the knowledge of Christ and the Bible. Hey, those false, other gods had nothing to do with me or did/do they?

I have always been curious and believe I now know why John the Apostle wrote in the last verse of his book “children, be aware of idols.”

I have read and read that Gospel of John’s and that verse always convicted me.

After bowing down to man made works (supposedly for God), after walking many miles in my journey with Jesus I have come to know that everything and everyone put before God in my life is an idol. Sounds simple yes but it is gut wrenching because my idols come in the love of grandchildren, love of admiration, love of being right, love of caring for the sick, the love of (fill in the blank)…

As a young woman I believe my idols were rooted in the identity given me by birth. Later I believe my idols were turned to the insecurity of fitting in so I would do what everyone else was doing. Just to fit in. I could list them all but the one in my older years that finally got my spiritual attention like no other was when my first grandchild was born. Oh how God has lavished his love upon those of us who are given grandchildren!  It is a good reward undeserved but  I began to put that love above everyone and everything. I didn’t even realize how deep I had waded into that “good” idolatry.

But God… in his purity and fury thundered through to me one sleepless night as I was telling him that he felt so distant lately. I had taken a gift of Joy and great love and delight and turned it in to a god!

How could that be I said? I am following you Lord. I felt His Spirit say, “if you follow me then you must put no other gods before me…”

So I knelt down before my Lord had one of those snot slinging, sobbing moments of repentance…

Paul wrote, “for what do you have that you did not receive? If you received it then how can you boast about anything?” 1 Corinthians 4:7

 

Oh how all the Kings have fallen

war chess

Photo by Gladson Xavier

Oh how all the Kings have fallen

From their high and lofty thrones!

The white Knights are soiled with black death

none of them call upon Almighty God!

All the people lie constantly so the innocents die

Their evil makes a mockery of Almighty God!

 

Oh if only they would cry from deep hearts

and give up their ego and selfish ways!

I, Almighty God have made a way to redeem them

Only I have saved them with my own right hand!

I desire mercy and compassion above all else

I, Almighty God have spoken for all to hear!

Fiddler

wood music classic sound

Photo by Pixabay 

 

Part of me just won’t show  

what she needs or what she knows

The anger lies beneath the wind

the fury stirs it up again

 

What did I think would happen

what do I have to lose?

Turn my mourning into dancing

 I put on my high-heeled shoes

 

I can’t drown my sorrow

breathe through the smoky haze

I don’t want to work tomorrow 

but the Fiddler must be paid.