At Street Level

at street level, the life of faith is always a matter of Trust. I am always reminded of this when I look around in a world I barely recognize. I desire Truth in my soul just like I need air to breathe.

…what is the power of this longing that this world cannot satisfly? It is the longing God placed in us for “paradise complete” and the “not yet”.

…at street level, the life of faith is always a matter of Trust.

“For we live by faith, not by sight.”

2 Corinthians 5:7

The Terror of The Thirties

woman wears black top close up photography

Photo by lilartsy 

The Terror of The thirties,  so say the Russians of old.

The Law of the first of December and  no one could escape the woes.

Hundreds of thousands upon thousands dead in the snow.

The Linengrad devil tried to steal their souls.

Randomly killed for a quota and no outcry could be heard.

Stalin killed his own family just to feed his evil rage.

Rivers of  blood shed we never seen to learn.

The terrors of the thirties let us turn the page.

That place where we bleed

Photo by Lum3n

It is an early morning rain

blue crystals falling from the sky

Oh all the words won’t come my way

the search for them makes me high

I saw you sleeping in the candle light

coming round to that place where we bleed

Oh all your thoughts won’t come my way

each idea planted like a row of seeds

It is an early morning rain

a symphony falling from the sky

Oh all the dance steps are ours

or at least to give a try.

Human Nature

Photo by Ethan Jones

Four days ago I turned sixty-five. I always think and ponder life at this time of a new year. My sixth-five years of attempting to be a student of my human nature and yours have been interesting to say the least.

TRUTH: Humans are scared of what we don’t know, especially if it changes life as we know it.

Godly Wisdom: Change and failure MUST occur so that humans will grow. Most of us stop growing in our early twenties. Can you believe it? Ephesians 4:15-16 – But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, [even] Christ.

TRUTH: Parents desire things for their children that perhaps they missed or lost when they were children. Or worse, parents have the illusion of controlling their child’s happiness when it is simply a lie.

Godly Wisdom: Children are a gift and parents have a responsibility to raise them without resentment. Children are ours for a season in which we are to do our best to pour Truth into them. This can only be done in faithfulness to God’s Word and Jesus Christ. Ephesians 1:13 “and you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit… “

TRUTH: Grown humans often still “desire” something we did not get in childhood.

Godly Wisdom: Childhood is filled with wonder but just as well it is full of disappointment trauma, abuse and hurt. These must be recognized, named, worked on but according to God’s Word the do NOT define us. John 3:16. ” For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him will have everlasting life. ”

TRUTH: Fear about what might happen is completely useless to us humans. 2 Timothy 1:7 ” for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. “

Conclusion: I am a feeble student at best. I have more questions than answers the longer I sojurn. I have seen the evil and the good. I have embraced God’s Holy Spirit pursuing me, and pointing me to Jesus Christ always! I have rebelled, stumbled, disobeyed, fallen, and I have been hated and have hated. I have seen the Transformation from dark was to light. I stand on the I infallible foundation that God is absolutely Good and their is no evil in Him whatsoever. I know this because humans are well acquainted with evil and there is none Good but God.

1 John 5:20 “We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true by being in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.”

Carrying on. ..

The Reality of Inaccurate “feel good quotes” …

crop person hand in broken mirror

Photo by Bruno Pires 

Sometimes as I scroll my Facebook and Instagram I see what seems to be a fabulous and profound quote…but then…but wait…I saw one that said, “rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine.” Another one I saw said, “Nothing is worth it if you aren’t happy.”  Well, while this might sound like accurate loquaciousness in the emotional sense, it is not accurate in the journey of life, at least not in my experience of 64 years on the planet. A storm is defined in the dictionary this way, “a violent disturbance of the atmosphere with strong winds and usually rain, thunder, lightning, or snow OR a tumultuous reaction; an uproar or controversy.”

And happiness has nothing to do with some situation or someone’s worth…there are limitless relationships, and situations that are totally worth it and totally hard!

The Truth is that you are born into a storm, into a world of tumultuous reaction, uproar, and controversy. It is called a “Fallen World of Sin and therefore broken.” I see no way that a human being can “rise” above any storm on their own.    See Romans 6:23.

Some might see my outlook as discouraging which is not my goal. However, if you believe God’s Word and you read and understand what occurred in Genesis chapter 3 then you will also understand that if you read the whole Bible there is good news and a solution to “THE STORM”…and He, Jesus, is the provider of Joy.

That is because happiness is an emotion in which we “experience feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense pleasure,” whereas joy “is a stronger, less common feeling than happiness.”  (Dr, Hud McWilliams). We experience joy when we achieve selflessness to the point of personal sacrifice.”

In the storm of an abusive childhood, or a miscarriage, a broken marriage, a health battle, an addiction, a mental illness, financial destitution, a death of your most beloved, and on the list goes…there is not a way around this storm! This storm touches everything and everyone from sunrise to sunset…There is no place in scripture where it says that we, in and of ourselves, will rise above anything. “Jesus said, without me, you can do nothing.” John 15:5

Many places in scripture we are promised, by God, that he will go with us through the storm, the suffering, and His Spirit will not leave nor forsake us. It does not tell us that we will be relieved from the lonely unlit path of the storm or that we will not get hurt by the storm. Again, the promise is that God will be with us through the pain.

In a time when Bible illiteracy in and outside of the Church is evident, I believe words of encouragement need to be accurate more than ever.

2 Corinthians 1:3 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

There you go

woman in car with road reflection on window at night

Photo by Masha Raymers on

There you go down that road that leads to the same old pain.

Now you can only travel solo but there’s nothing you will gain.

This life you lead is yours to seize and no one can do it for you.

There you go behind your wall hiding all your clues

You shout because you cannot be brave and now you lose.

There you go again and I feel nothing now your gone.

Looking for the pretty notes…

brass classic classical music close up

Photo by Pixabay

Looking for the pretty notes I strain my ear to hear

that melody of Holy song telling me you are near.

No minor chords of sad goodbye or Sin’s death and decay.

No more lies and darkened skies to distort my journeys way.

I listen for the harmony of your singing clear and sweet

The pretty notes of your presence your love song on repeat…

There is nothing folded or any pockets left to hide anything…(This is what being a Nurse means…)

persons hands with rainbow colors

Photo by cottonbro

There is nothing folded or any pockets left to hide anything. There are no possessions, no promise to keep, and no clever things to say. There are no lies to tell, no more pressure of failure or success. There is no need to pursue happiness and accolades. There are no more bills to pay or money to spend. There is nothing clever to be said.

This man and I are alone in his hospital room. We are humans here together. I am the last person he saw. I am the last one to hold this hand that is already losing its warmth. This hand that held his sweetheart, his children, and grandchildren. This hand that worked diligently at a job and perhaps lost touch on his journey.

In this moment I feel his joys and sorrows as one human to another. I have the privilege to hold for just a brief moment the connection of the mystery that we both have lived, and dreamed in both the laughing and the weeping.

I am the one who will gently wash away the smell of sickness. I will  tenderly prepare this human body for final rest as if he were my loved one because the Truth is we are brother and sister in the family of “us.” All of us who are called humans. I will make sure he looks his best for his loved ones who are on their way here in mourning, and just for ” the blink of an eye”  I will hold this other human’s unknown secrets, dreams, and love for the cherished treasures they are. I will be a better person having done so.

I whisper a prayer to The One who gives life and who defeated death and give thanks that two complete strangers can be so completely united for a single moment.

This is what being a Nurse means…

 

I take up my pen…

fashion woman notebook pen

Photo by Negative Space

 

I take up my pen to write again of the love you give to me.

No one else was there in that dark night of despair when I saw how much You had to bleed.

You tenderly wrapped my dead body in your shroud of forgiveness, and sealed it with the balm of your Grace.

Your kindness brought me to repentance, and you held so sweetly my tear streaked face.

People say they have heard it all before, and I hope that they too have seen,

The One who knelt beside me and cried along with me.

The chief of sinners, I was your enemy yet still you died to claim.

I will tell you Jesus loves you and me and by no other name can we be saved.