John Steinbeck, the most read author all over the world ( many people think it is Hemingway) brought the landscape and the soul of America, the people of this nation to life,for better or for worse with his words. Words like Grapes of Wrath, Of Mice and Men. He studied people in every circumstance he could find and observed the heart of those people.His legacy remains “Steinbeck Country” still exists for us to read and just maybe, if we listen to each other, America might just begin to heal her wounds, or at least stop committing suicide.
In a life of Healthcare the sum of lessons I have learned cannot be measured. I am weak at writing and expression but reality of life and death are ever clear. An ordinary day in the Intensive Cardac Care Unit in West Florida Hospital. I go about my work. I am twenty-two years old. I sat down at the nurses desk to chart on my patients. My seat is one from which I can see straight into the hospital bed approximately 20 feet away in front of me. “Deductive reasoning” is when a data leads to one conclusion. ” Inductive reasoning” by definition is where a conclusion is probable but not certain. ” “Aductive reasoning” consist of incompleteness of purposes. I sit writing in neat script. Occasionally I glance at the patient directly in front of me. His hospital bed is in the upright sitting position. His nasal oxygen cannula is tilted in his nose. The ever present monitors of important numbers and squiggly repetitive lines of the heart rythmn, rate, and blood pressure are constant. I glanced down at my watch as nurses often do, note the time. My attention is called to a sound of panic. I stand up and head for the noise and just like that the man’s eyes widened and from the torso up his whole body turns blue. I yell for help and all my colleagues and a doctor come running. The doctor begins calmly giving orders. I glance down at my watch again. Seventy- eight seconds had passed. The man is dead. His Aortic vavle had dissected and his heart simply exploded. I had never witnessed this before nor sense. It left me marked. All the types of “reasoning” that I relied on could not find its place. It took me hours and days and even to this day to piece through the seventy-eight seconds and a passing from life to death. In the end, I am left with no conclusion except this, Life, in all its myriad of seconds passing by cannot be defined by human reasoning.
You said you never met a girl like me in your life. You said when we are older I will be your wife. Isn’t it funny what we believe love is when we are young? I think perhaps it is the closest to Perfect love and most Christ like. I had no agenda, just Purity when I loved you, I just loved you. You thought I would always be your girl and just loved me. Neither one had to change anything about us, we wouldn’t dare. Years have now flown and we have travelled far Isn’t it funny we had no map, just followed the stars above? And still, it lingers in the star dust. We just simply loved.
“The fact is that sin is a bigger disaster than we think it is and grace is more amazing than we seem to be able to grasp that it is. No one who really understands what Scripture has to say about the comprehensive, every-aspect-of-your-personhood altering nature of sin would ever think that anyone could muster enough motivation and strength to rise to God’s standard of perfection. The thought that any fallen human being would be able to perform his or her way into acceptance with God has to be the most insane of all delusions. Yet we all tend to think that we are more righteous than we are, and when we think this, we have taken the first step to embracing the delusion that maybe we’re not so bad in God’s eyes after all.” Paul Tripp
You better pray everyday
You better read your Bible every day.
You better join the choir, teach Sunday school, be a missionary, or do some kind of ministry.
You better tithe.
You better be at Church every time the door was open. (This one was easy because my Dad was a Pastor.)
So, if you are out there trying to earn your way into relationship with God it is a burden that you need not carry and when you realize this Truth it is actually a relief. Then you can start to actually do and say the things that please God by letting His Spirit live in you.
It can be a rough ride and not a pretty sight, but Jesus did not come and die for us because it was comfortable or pretty. He did it because he understood and still understands that it is HE who brings life from sin and death, and it is Jesus in you that will produce “good works and fruit.”
Your behavior will change because Jesus transforms our hearts and out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, the hands serve, and the love overflows. I know, because I spent years trying to be good enough and failed and then as I lay all of that down I began to change.
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6
But he ·gave up his place with God and made himself nothing [L emptied himself]. He ·became like [L took the form of] a ·servant [slave; bondservant] and was born ·as a man [L in the likeness of humanity/men.
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. Praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. psalm 139:13, 14.
The consistent thread in my life has sewn a beautiful tapestry of life’s many different colors and stitches. Like every other human being on earth I have known tragedy and triumph. I have sorrows that scar my heart but I have great love which heals my heart. I have had illnesses, chronic pain with many moments of healing and reprieve and many days my body did it’s work without complaint.. I have known great gain and loss. I caused most of my own heart ache so I blame no one but myself. To sum it up, I journey just like millions of others. So here now is my testament in 70 years there has never and I mean never in my life when I cried out to God and he was not there for me,hearing the voice of The Good Shepherd every time I stumble. He, Jesus, has been here with me and for me without fail. I know His voice!
So here I go… Heading out this morning, into the sun Riding on the diamond waves, little darlin’ one Warm wind caress her, her lover it seems Oh Annie, dreamboat Annie Ship of dreams Oh Annie, dreamboat Annie Little ship of dreams
It is dusk in winter casting the sky and world into Winter blue. I squint my eyes and can see that little girl. That one, see her over there? She is quite the believer! She knows this color blue was made just for her and she looks forward to it every year. She gazes at the stars and sees the gateway to Heaven open wide and welcoming. Every season it occurs. Her crooked little smile and deep set navy-gray eyes are shining with the hope of Christmas. She loves getting toys of course but her love for feeling safe and cozy on a winter night means more than toys. There are decorations, and a tree with a favorite ornament hanging there and the warmth of family gathered. She knows her family loves her but she also knows that they whisper that she is a dreamer when they speak of her and they wonder if she will be all right . Dreams are not rebellion you know? As the years flow on Winter Blue comes again and again, however for me, the little girl’s safe existence and lingering dreams would have slipped through the looking glass had I not kept my promises to never lose her or our rendevue with Winter blue.
I am always astounded when a renewed sense of the “Realm of Grace.” is gifted to me by the Holy. My dear mentor Dr. Hud McWilliams puts it this way, “Grace erodes all of our human ability to be gods. Grace removes ALL of our ability to PRETEND we are in control.”
I clearly see This Realm of Grace cannot be diminished, Grace cannot be penetrated by darkness, Grace cannot be stopped by disease nor death, and best of all it cannot be bought or earned! The birthing place of Grace is Mercy. The person of Grace is Jesus our Lord who died and gave us his grace because our Heavenly Father is merciful. This refreshing and renewing gift from Grace is that Grace annihilated Shame! And I bear it no more!
I often have concern all my words may scare you away or maybe they already have. I respond to words intentionally. Words compell me. Words challenge me. Words soothe me… I guess it depends on what kind of word person you are. Maybe all my words won’t scare you away, but If they should I understand. I see words in “color” sometimes. Words are never, ever black and white. There are “you’re a liar” words. There are “absolute Truth” words. There are “profound” words. There are “stupid and ignorant” words. There are “death and life” words, and so many more. The list is exhausting but you get my drift.
