hard things

You thought I never noticed you

/ jill autrey dorman

 

 

shallow focus photography of a woman

Photo by Tainá Bernard

 

You thought I never noticed you

in those hallowed halls of high school angst.

Like Breakfast Club we each played a part

and everyone said I would break your heart.

 

You thought I was a Golden lady with no scars.

You said my blue-gray eyes shined like silver stars.

Truthfully I thought no one really cared.

Only you could  see that  I was a little scared.

 

You were my best friend and always true.

I went to the parties and always looked for you.

You were too afraid to come my way

and then you faded black one day.

 

Years came and went till we met again.

We talked and laughed until the sun shined in.

We professed our love and gratitude out loud.

Friends to the end we made that vow.

 

Now I am old and you have crossed the pale.

I can see the halls of heaven prevail.

Nobody ever was or had a friend more true.

How wrong you were to think I never noticed you.

 

(this is dedicated to Tim C.)

 

 

 

In the Eyes of It All

/ jill autrey dorman / 2 Comments
photo of person covered with brown textile

Photo by Noelle Otto

 

I don’t know where you went when you left me.

I have to believe you were sure you had to leave.

People always seem to have to be, have to go, have to hear what someone else has said.

The Truth running away like a spool of thread.

Still, I remember it felt like drowning in a rip tide.

There is a sadness in the end, in the eyes of it all.

I am much the stronger for it but I don’t wait for your call.

It is this…the answer

/ jill autrey dorman

 

assorted color textile lot

Photo by Frans Van Heerden

 

The fabric we cling to so tightly that isn’t God, must break down

Our own coveted resources, our lifeboats all drowned

Though it may be beautiful fabric we have weaved

the failure of our remedies to control must be relieved

For that is when the Lord speaks…

 

 

Desert Place

/ jill autrey dorman / 3 Comments

 

 

person in desert

Photo by Joel Friend

 

 

When this young prodigal daughter wandered

It was not because You, O God changed in time. 

You O blessed Savior still sought the one and left the ninety-nine.

 

I could not outrun your Grace even in the valley of the shadow,

I kept seeing your face in my disgrace and sorrow.

You said, “I have already won the battle”

 

As I lay deserted there I heard you call me Friend. .

Dying within an inch of my life I thought you must be a dream

But you Lord whispered “everyone needs to learn, from a desert comes a stream.”

No time to give away

/ jill autrey dorman

 

 

time lapse photography of waterfalls

Photo by James Wheeler 

Out of my head

No point in New lies

Not hindered by sorrow

Simply celebrate my life

 

Brilliance is this instant

Melting colors into day

Living every minute

With no time to give away

 

Sorrow bears a goodness

Merriment holds no shame

Colors intense and glorious

With no time to give away

 

In my War Room

/ jill autrey dorman
woman wearing black tank top leaning on table

Photo by Engin Akyurt

 

As if at forced shutter speed all life  now is slow motion.

A stealthy enemy invades War Rooms with limited detection.

At what price can we buy peace of mind and human devotion?

This peripatetic killer cares not for education or station

and will only be stopped by God’s love of our Nation.

 

 

I am still right here my neighbor.

I will pray through this long dark night with you.

Let us lift up our pleas to the One who heals.

Let us be the ones called courageous and true.

I will, I will fight in my War Room for you.

 

I have always felt set apart

/ jill autrey dorman
big waves under cloudy sky

Photo by GEORGE DESIPRIS

 

I stare out my window

Like a sea wife staring out the horizon

Time moving ever so slow

 

 

 

I have always felt set apart

Looking outside of dreams into the  indigo haze

Time capturing the beats of my heart

 

 

This is what faith is

The hope of what can’t always be seen

Time cannot define where he is

 

Dancing on a Black Hill

/ jill autrey dorman

 

photo of wildfire on mountain

Photo by Sippakorn Yamkasikorn

It is like first seeing a wildfire not knowing what it is.

Like orange flickering holiday lights dancing on a black hill.

The odor of burnt vines and smoke are miles and months away

but slowly and surely the wildfire is edging  our way.

 

 

At first people believe it won’t affect their world

they ignore their inner call to action or care.

The next thing they know all sight is lost in smoke

now everything is burning like the wheat and the tare.

 

 

We should have listened to the prophets

their facts written in black and white.

Now the oil of apathy cannot be returned to its urn

The orange lights are now full raging fire that burns.