The first time I touched heaven…

September 19, 2019September 19, 2019 / jill autrey dorman / 3 Comments

Photo by Skitterphoto

The first time I touched heaven I was a five year old little girl who knelt down beside her parents and prayed to Jesus, who loves me…The faith of a child was heaven…I touched the face of pure love. I prayed to Trust Jesus.

A twenty one year old college girl alone in the sand and sea with Hope renewed. I touched the King of the Kingdom and I confessed all my fear and failure… and we walked anew.

A thirty year old wife and mother…tired and scared of what I didn’t know. I touched the Spirit of God and he whispered to me that He would never leave me…I rejoiced in Peace.

A thirty-four year old woman who was breaking her marriage and her life and had depression and despaired of the goodness of God…but he gave me a man who would not walk away and I touched a Faith restored in God’s goodness.

A forty-five year old daughter I put my Daddy in his earthly grave and a light went out of me in this world but the Light of the World kept shining and I touched the Power of the Resurrection in Jesus Christ.

A sixty-three year old grandmother of five…I kneel each day in gratitude for every breath and every family memory…I touch Joy unspeakable and full of Glory…

When I leave this body to go to my Father’s house…I will go to The One who died for me and I will touch eternity and live forevermore in His presence finally touching my Lord who is Heaven…

I smile when I remember

September 18, 2019 / jill autrey dorman

Photo by Matheus Bertelli

I was lovely then

blushing peachy cheeks

I was funny then

laughter honeysuckle sweet

I lay down with you then

beneath a full white moon

I smile when I remember

The symphony of my youth

The coldest nights are God’s mercy (survival is fear based and slides into dying)

September 16, 2019 / jill autrey dorman

Photo by Pixabay

It is the coldest night in years

The heavens in the sky so clear

The burden on her back slid off her shoulders

She thought, I must lay down this boulder…

It is time the voice said, there is no more to do

I want you to leave this burden here tonight

Survival is fear based and slides into dying

Thriving mercy comes from Me the voice cried…

She lay down on the cold ground shivering

When she woke a spring morning shining

She looked around with a pounding in her mind

And the boulder was no where in sight…

Power of the Heart (by my grandson)

September 15, 2019 / jill autrey dorman

Photo by Pixabay

Out of the Heart of my eight year old grandon. This poem…amazed!

If your heart starts to sink

Into a part where you cannot bear to cry

Try to use the power of the Heart

For you should not cry for me when I am gone

Remember what I said that is the power of the heart

E.C.C.B.

Proverbs of a Foolish Man

September 13, 2019 / jill autrey dorman / 4 Comments

from freight trains to Ferraris
cigarette butts in the gutter to Cuban cigars
wanted to go home so many times
but it was just too damn hard…
hidden in the desert rock and sailed the Aegean sea
scrounged like a pauper and feasted like a King
ran and ran as fast as I could
but still could not get away from me…
she deserved a better man than me
she is the whole of good and light as can be
gripped all my shame then threw it in her face
and she rose above it as she walked on in grace…
These are the Proverbs of a foolish man
Please hear this and then walk another way
Avoid the Proverbs of this foolish man
the price is much too high to pay…

Sharp Shooter on the roof tops…

September 12, 2019 / jill autrey dorman

automatic weapon bullet camouflage close up

Photo by Pixabay

I dream I am in guerrilla warfare, watching for sharp shooters on the roof tops

The King was right when he said we do not fight flesh and bone

Yet we insist on killing our own over and over, the choice made, cannot be taken back

There are many traitors among us, or most likely they never were a child of the King

They look just like me so I cannot know who will gun me down, it is not for me to judge

The Truth can pierce the bone from the marrow, I know because it happened to me…

I must don God’s armor at all times, be vigilant in lie detection, oh the enemy is so smooth, it is a false light…

My heart is pounding, I cannot be silent, for every day is a day of war in the spiritual realm, to immense to be ignored.

The manifold wisdom of God sees all, the Captain of the host holds all power in his name, Messiah, Jesus, God with us

So I take up my weapons… the belt of Truth, the shield of Faith, the helmet of Salvation …

I continue to walk behind the enemy line for I know the Battle is the Lord’s, I long to remain a diligent warrior

The sharp shooter is still on the roof, the scope on the rifle is aimed at my head, I can see his eyes dead like dolls eyes

I choose to keep walking…

I walk on vigilant always for any inkling of the enemy’s presence…deafening silence

yet in a split-second a pervasive white mist envelopes me…

I feel heavy weight and aching in my body and spirit, it is the supreme stealth weapon of the enemy

It is shame, my most relentless foe

The ballast of Shame slaughters aggressively, the deadliest of weapons, worse than sarin gas…

If I don’t kill it, it will kill me and all it touches, shame is unholy from hell

I cry out to the King, blood seeping from my chest, a razor-sharp slice

I did not feel it at the point of entry

Towering above the shame the King appears, brandishing his two-edged sword

it blazes and radiates like a million Suns, in a blink the sharp shooter

on the roof top falls dead

I am blind now, crouching down behind my shield of Faith

the King wields his Holy two-edged sword and shame screeches like the demon it is…

instantly there is silence, my heart is no longer bleeding, I regain my sight

The Holy Spirit is the watchman, the Angels encamp around me

I savor the Holy rest of victory this day…

It was the brightest sky in a hundred years

September 5, 2019November 7, 2019 / jill autrey dorman

Photo by Luck Galindo

It was the brightest sky in a hundred years

an ancient song that drew me here

There is no burden that these stars will fall

I know you will answer when I call

Like a dazzling topaz you fill my sky

as you drift from me to that Holy high

I knew that you were glad to go

though selfishly I did not want it so

Then you spoke to me in that gentle way

There are worse things then dying you said that day

I cried and agreed but did not want you leave

but we both know the One in whom we believe

For He holds all our days and all our joys

although I can no longer hear your voice

Today I know you’re both watching over us

The family that you love so much

My writing is a dialogue with my self…that might spill over into your life…

August 30, 2019August 30, 2019 / jill autrey dorman

I have come to see that most of this need to write is a dialogue with my self in which I sort out, define, and narrate my beliefs, my perceptions, and my life…

When my Mom recently passed away I used writing as a tool to grieve, mourn, and rejoice. I use words to give Praise to God who, by faith I believe in and trust. I use writing to rail against injustice and to also humble my self that I don’t have a right to judge anyone. I have always loved The written word.

Photo by Jimmy Chan

The power of The Word that put on flesh are the words that I hold most dear. This Word lives and moves and creates and forgives and heals…

I recently have been thinking about the divide in the Church regarding the inerrant Word of God and how each believer must make their stand regarding the Bible being wholly literal or not. I know it is literal and inerrant…

In our flesh we can use the Bible and make it say something it doesn’t. For example taking the word “submission” and turning it into a way to manipulate and control others but in the context of the whole character of God and His Word Jesus clearly examples for us that submission to His Father was based on honor and glory with humility. What a difference context makes.

Sometimes there are no words for me to express the profound treasures of life but I like the challenge of attempting to anyway. Perhaps in heaven I will be allowed to write Psalms and poems to worship Jesus with…

My motivation and passion is to connect with others by something I see or have experienced and put such descriptive words on paper the the reader will feel that they are not alone in their story…

So whether it really matters in the big picture I don’t know but using words to speak life is exactly what Jesus did… ” and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us! My word for that is Hallelujah! ”