Solitude

There were many who could accuse her…

/ jill autrey dorman / 5 Comments

 

assorted colors rocks

Photo by Ir Solyanaya 

There were many who could accuse her, she knew it was the law.

The very men who used her now want to see her stoned.

She remembers how it started, so hungry and alone.

She rode the tide of shame and commerce, with nowhere else to go.

She heard about the Holy man healing all the sick.

They said he spoke of God’s love for all, even those who have no hope.

So now she stood before Him and prepared herself to die.

He then wrote something  in the dirt and gazed up into her eyes

And said, “no man here can accuse you and neither do I.”

Oh the washing of her soul a deluge fell that holy day,

and she followed Him from that time on, He is The Truth, The Life, The Way!

Deep Purple Pain

/ jill autrey dorman / 2 Comments

 

purple abstract illustration

Photo by Anni Roenkae 

 

Weary days of  fear and foe

Deep purple pain just won’t let go

All through the day and into the night

Grief and anger fires burn bright.

 

My country weeps and cracks inside

Believers pray and mother’s cry

Dear God please hear us as we pray

We are sorry that we act this way.

 

Deep purple pain upon The Cross

No one else could pay the cost

Let us walk in your Salvation now

and humbly at your feet bow down.

Home

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people sitting on the edge of a cliff

Photo by Angelo Duranti

Her passion is tender.

Her pain is massive.

Her mind is lithe and quick.

Her body is no longer as swift.

 

Her temple once was a house of cards,

built by her birth, her fear, and her works.

Now she stands on the rock called Jesus

careful to follow him with her cross.

 

A new temple foundation built,

she is sure of this The Holy One.

He makes all things new with his Holy breath,

and will lead her in both life and death…

Home.

Get the Kill Shot (based on a true story)

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man in camouflage army uniform holding rifle

Photo by Kony Xyzx

 

She has been hiding here for almost three days…she is basically lying in a sewer. The smell and wetness don’t affect her anymore. To get the shot she must not move. The target is hiding out in a bombed out building. She didn’t eat, barely sipped enough water to stay alive and wore basically a diaper for urine. She has had very little solid food in her so her bowels did not move…she stayed hydrated and that is key but if the shot took much longer she would inevitably grow weaker. One time she stayed in a position for six days…recovery was rough. She would need intravenous fluids after this and a push of vitamins and electrolytes as well but she knew her body and she knew her window of time and the clock was running.
She is well camouflaged by a versatile cape that also provided some protection from rain and dampness. Her small frame is every inch muscle. She is tall and lean. Her rifle is wrapped in strips of burlap and tied down with yarn to ensure no reflection from the sun. To be a good sniper you simply must have common sense. It is a matter of fact. What is the distance to the target? How will gravity influence the bullet across its travel distance? What are the wind conditions? Is the target moving? Is the target getting too comfortable with his hiding place and becoming less vigilant? If the target is moving, how fast is his speed? Most people believe being a good sniper is all about control and having the best rifle but she begged to differ. She believed it all came down to what she believed about herself, about what she knows she is capable of, and what she is willing to do to get “the shot” the first time. She does “know” her rifle intimately however. It is like a part of her body. She knows the rifles scope like she knows her husband. She is precise about everything. Being the best sniper involves making decisions in the split of a millisecond and knowing it is the right decision without question. She is able to slow her mind. She thinks “I am one with this sewer, I am sound. By the time you hear it and try to process it, it’s too late because I am already gone.”
Yes she is a woman. She is a soldier. She is a Special Forces soldier. She is here to serve her country. She does not worry about PTSD or being raped by anyone. Those are the only subjects most of the world like to talk about when it comes to women in the military. She has never been disrespected by male soldiers and she has never disrespected a male soldier. Her calling is to be the best soldier she can be and she is a good one. She is an even better sniper. She will not hesitate to kill the enemy. She does not count her kills but she has never regretted even one of them. She has saved the lives of hundreds of soldiers by doing her job and being the best. She is a daughter, sister, wife, and mother. She is a woman. She is brave and she is one of the elite in her field. She is part of a controversy, not by her choice, in America regarding women in the military but she will carry on because her country needs her. She is paving the way for other smart determined women soldiers. She has counted the cost and is willing to pay the cost. She is an American hero…ahhh, here is the moment, the millisecond has arrived, and she takes the shot…it is done.

The Quiet Side, A Different Peace…

/ jill autrey dorman / 3 Comments

I

two boat on ocean during golden time

Photo by Skitterphoto

 

The North shore of my piece of sugar white heaven faces the sound (Bay) side of the island.

The three mile bridge stands sentinel guard and my  small bay is dotted with white sails stirring my heart.

The bridge that brings me home to my nautical world.

The smell of fish and salt is a soothing balm to a weary girl.

The hermit crabs do a miniature square dance that leads them safely home.

The Sandpipers play hopscotch in the tide pool foam

The Gulls swoop and squawk over schools of fish and bones

There is a different peace on the Sound, the quiet side.

It always feels like the end of the day here where the tired come home to rest.

Like a sweet baby’s coo the waves lap upon the shore.

The “Quiet Side” is what the locals call the back door.

And are happily living and dying on this island right here.

 

 

 

 

 

In the Middle of this Young Girl’s Dream

/ jill autrey dorman / 3 Comments
action background blur bottles

Photo by Pixabay

 

I want to stay next time

Don’t wake me up from my young girl’s dream

It is a place that I love and call home

This dream carries me in my older days

a special place where my soul has flown

 

In the middle of this young girl’s dream

all the ones I love never have to leave and

sometimes when the world is unkind

There is only Joy like the Sun’s glow

It warms my hands and soul as I am growing  old

 

 

 

 

White Sky

/ jill autrey dorman / 3 Comments
white feathers illustration

Photo by Aleksandr Slobodianyk

 

The galaxies in the Night’s heaven are like living poetry

Your beautiful idea happening right in front of me

The air is clear and crisp in a season of knowing

Joy and grief, tears and smiles the evidence of living

Love falling down like white feathers all around 

I cherish your gifts to me Oh God, I see you in utter Holiness

The Cathedral Tree

/ jill autrey dorman / 3 Comments

 

snow covered green plant

Photo by Marta Dzedyshko

Like the vaults of God’s Holy temple

the blue spruce branches arch over me

Each heavily draped with new fallen snow

I kneel down in grateful prayer under the Cathedral Tree

 

I have never been one to love easily and trust

but You Oh God have loved me with perfect love

I was heavily draped in sin and you washed me white as snow

I kneel down in humility under the Cathedral Tree

 

 

 

I was flayed open with a razor sharp knife

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silhouette of girl during evening

Photo by luizclas

He was the only one there in that dark still night

I was flayed open with a razor sharp knife

He said are you ready to rise from the dead?

Through sobs and his blood yes was all I said

 

He said I am the love you are counting on

I am the only One when all  others are gone

I am the one who carries you when you fall

Through doubts and sorrow I’ve paid it all

 

He is the one who  gave His all for me

He fought for me to the bloody end

And on that day when He rose again

He said I am all I have ever been

 

He held me there as life seeped in

He is everything no one else has been

He is my champion, teacher, Redeemer, and friend

He is the one I will count on until the end

 

 

 

 

 

” Knowledge and Truth are not the same, never be deceived by that…” Dr. Hud McWilliams

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alphabet class conceptual cube

Photo by Pixabay 

 

I am not anyone’s authority on what they read, or who they listen to or what blogs they like to follow. I just know that for me, a little caution bell went off in my head the other day about “rightly dividing the Word of Truth” and the heavy responsibility that goes with it.
Jesus said, “See that no one lead you astray.” Matthew 24:4
We often think of humility as an awareness of our faults, but humility is an awareness of our limitations.

Here is why I am discerning a red flag in my head and am being led by the Holy Spirit to “check” myself and who I am following.

Over 20 million women (conservative number) are known to follow someone like Glennon Doyle Melton, Jen Hatmaker, Beth Moore, Priscilla Shire, Jennie Allen (If:Equip ministry), Ann VosKamp, Shauna Nyquist, Lysa TerKeurst (Proverbs 31 Ministries) or a group of women under the umbrella of “She Speaks Truth” ministry, and many more on Social Media.
Most of these ladies started out sharing their stories via Blog, or by writing books, and speaking engagements. The things they have to say obviously resonate with women. Whether it is how to cope in marriage, Motherhood, single life, health issues, spiritual issues, sexuality issues or just light subjects like decorating your home or cooking healthy.
This type of teaching and leadership, if you call it that, is taking off in “The Church” culture for women but are often para-ministries meaning they are not under Biblical authority, or are they? You must choose for yourself with the guidance of the very real and present Holy Spirit of God. Just because you agree with some things a woman might say doesn’t make her a Truth speaker.
Truth stands alone,  “outside of us” in our humanity until we become the daughters of God through Jesus Christ the Truth then dwells in us through the third person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit. We must not lose our humility and always walk in the fact that we are God’s children and we, who follow Jesus, are under his authority. He is Truth, this God/Man is Truth. Truth is a person not an ideal. Truth is not a feeling.
Humility is not seen much in this world. We must believe what God says about us and that is that we were dead in sin. Hopelessly lost, now saved by Grace through Christ Jesus.
Wisdom is always needed.  Not earthly Wisdom but True Wisdom that comes from God.
I read in scripture that Jesus first gives us strong and serious warnings to be aware of anyone’s teaching and the way to measure them is by “whose authority” do they speak, lead, guide, or teach?

So, Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” John 8:28

 

In James 3:1 James implores us “do not run” to teach and/or lead…”Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.) These gifts are surely costly gifts and come with heavy accountability before God.

 

What does Wise Living look like? In James chapters 1 and 2 is a pearl for living well and whole and fleshing out what we believe…
The wise woman will persevere


She cannot stop praising God or referencing God in her daily life.

She is slow to speak and quick to listen.


She is gentle, gentle, gentle!


She is a “doer” of God’s Word.


She leads a life of purity, not innocence but purity. There is no malice in her heart. She is not trying to gain reward for herself only for Jesus. We are called to “know Jesus” (intimately), and to make Him known (by our words, actions, and the intent of our heart.)


She does not show favoritism.


She controls her tongue.I

So knowledge without Truth is evil. Truth stands alone without my opinion.  Who I let teach or influence me matters. I shall I my self and all friends out there to take the time to really read and know the Bible so you will not be led astray. I can only hold up each one to the test of God’s Word outlined above.

Thinking on the page…