The Sacred Ache

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This sacred ache  only you can fill

no words can describe the place

when you shattered that hour glass of shame

all the dust cleared I heard you call my name

 

Nothing on earth fulfills this longing

I have learned this yearning is not to be despised

yet held within so tenderly and bittersweet

you hold every tear I have ever cried

 

This sacred ache that you have filled

keeps me gazing at the stars each night

I look for your return my Lord and King

each day I long to live inside your light

 

 

No one else can propagate this longing

so I freely keep it there and open

when you shattered that hour glass of shame

when all the dust had cleared I heard you call my name…

 

“Daughter are you crying?
do the tears belong to me?
Daughter I am close as I can be.
and our time has just begun.”

Sharp shooter on the roof top (part one)

  1. war chess

    Photo by Gladson Xavier

I dreamed I am  in guerrilla warfare, watching sharp shooters on the roof tops

The King was right when he said we do not fight flesh and bone

Yet we insist on killing our own over and over,  the choice made, cannot be taken back

There are many traitors among us, or most likely they never were a child of the King

 

They look just like me so I cannot know who will gun me down, it is not for me to judge

The Truth can pierce the bone from the marrow, I know because it happened to me…

I must don God’s armor at all times, be vigilant in lie detection, oh the enemy is so smooth, it is a false light…

My heart is pounding, I cannot be silent, for every day is a day of war in the spiritual realm, to immense to be ignored

 

The manifold wisdom of God sees all, the Captain of the host holds all power in his name, Messiah, Jesus, God with us

So I take up my weapons… the belt  of Truth, the shield of Faith, the helmet of Salvation

I continue to walk behind the enemy line for I know the Battle is the Lord’s, I long to remain a diligent warrior

The sharp shooter is still on the roof, the scope on the rifle is aimed at my head, I can see his eyes dead like dolls eyes

I choose to keep walking

 

 

The solitude of mere humanity (another lesson from Job)

 

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Photo by Snapwire

The solitude of mere humanity…without tasting the solitary aloneness of  yourself before the God who created you one cannot experience the path to the Cross of Jesus Christ. Our parents faith, our family, our worldly status, our friends cannot enter into this solitude with us. The paradox of the supernatural and eternal Unity of the Cross with the certainty that we each must meet and know God alone is the reality each human must face.  This is the story of Job and every other human.

There is no way around it but it need not be a terrifying solitude. We cannot hide from this meeting with the Holy.  It is an offensive, not defensive stance.  To come home like the Prodigal son, to repent, to rejoice in the Wholeness provided in Jesus. To remove the facade of religious and worldly answers and simply stand unashamed and naked like Adam did when he was molded from the dirt and dust of the earth in the wonderful marvelous light of God’s presence. There is an innocent soberness to this kind of solitude.  Just us before God without another single human being.

It is in the solitude of mere humanity where there is intimacy without playing games. We all experience a time of total loneliness in this life yet in that place something within us cries out to us that we are NOT alone.  Job experienced this. Jesus certainly experienced this in the most utmost sense of the word. God does not play games with us. We came into this world naked and alone and we will leave this world with the solitary escort of the Holy Spirit of God into the very presence of our Creator, Savior, and King Jesus. That is so astounding and kind and simple.

I believe that God is in love with our human-ness. We are his ultimate design an image bearer of our God. We are the Crown of his creation. Not only does God love us he delights in and trust us with the lives he has given us and in our solitary aloneness  with him we can know these truths intimately.

 

Psalm 73 (interpretation)

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Photo by Designecologist

 

 

That familiar ache of longing

stings my heart again

My flesh and mind are failing

the Spirit within my only defense

 

Transparent in my need

find me once again

Vulnerable to the hurt of man

the certain pangs begin.

 

I declare you are my strength 

the Lover of my soul

I surely would have fallen

unless my God had taken hold

 

 

Night Stone Cold

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Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán 

Night stone cold

Jagged stone thrown

No concessions for the brave

     Or for the weak

 

Skilled stone cruel

Hot stone burns

Dancing as fast as you can

     Or falling

 

Perfect stone heart

Ravaged stone guards

Fill in the blank as expected

     Or be cast out

 

Night stone cold

The Cornerstone has come

Rest for all those weary

     Or all who will receive

 

“This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone.” Acts 4:11

 

I’m not sure I want to be the writer of this page…

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Photo by Pixabay

 

I’m not sure I want to be the writer of this page. I know that words can be written and read leaving someone broken or they can leave another someone free...

I want to be light but I am often heavy. That is all on me. It is part of my wiring I suppose.

I am sure of this though. Eden has had not gone. It still is there in the fertile crescent where the four rivers dance down from the mount pouring out the water of life. The Tree of Life still stands in the center its leaves twirl gently in the milk gold sunshine that never sets.

While it is true that no unredeemed human can yet re-enter its guarded gate  there is an unspoken melody on the breeze that gently sings “oh but man and woman shall return and He, the King of glory will bring them in! No more tears will be shed, no more sin and dread shall darken the days of Eden the way it was…

For the Lord our God is One!

See the Prince of Peace he walks among the trees. The evil fruit banished and gone forevermore and all God’s children are home! I hope these words find you free and light but if they find you heavy do not fear because Jesus is all about light and freedom. You are invited to himself just the way you are.

 

No Darkness at All…

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Photo by George Becker

If you have lived any part of your life without receiving the love of Christ then you have known the dark places that lie at the heart of what may or may not appear to be light. Like many Christians before me I am compelled and pushed toward this light driven somewhat to the point of desire for perfect love, which cast out all fear. In the book of first John he states, “this is the message, in Him there is no darkness

I hope in these words daily. What an astounding profound statement and fact. I want this person, Jesus, who is the Light. I want to bathe in it, live in it, and roam the halls of eternity in His warming light.

 This marvelous, scandalous love of the God/man Jesus intrigues me so.
Although love has the component of something sweet that makes me “feel” good most of that time it is only a fraction of the Wholeness in Him.
REAL LOVE it dawns on me is dangerous, not safe. Love is risky. It will get hold of you from the inside out and its grip is so tight that if we could stand the squeeze we find ourselves willing to do anything for its sake. In the words of the warrior-child Lucy in C.S. Lewis’s Chronicle of Narnia I am reminded over and over of the fact that God is absolutely GOOD but He is not safe.
He is the one who says, “I’ll risk myself and come down to you because I choose you and so you may find me and be amazed at my pure light of love and glory. It will do you Good for Good is who I am.”

the subject of suffering is a hot bed of emotions in the human realm.

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Photo by Egor Kamelev 

 

I have been “leaning into” the book called The Gospel According to Job or about three years…the subject of suffering is a hot bed of emotions in the human realm. The one million light bulbs that go off in my head like some crazy paparazzi event when I contemplate truly suffering usually sends me into an endorphin crisis. Some have said to me “well, if you had more faith…blah blah blah…” ( God is the one who gives faith and I Love that. He will measure out to me the Faith and Grace and Mercy I need from his very own hand he gives it to me).
I am seeing more clearly what is the heart of Job. He has become a friend to me. He is what is called a “type” of Jesus (foretold in the Ancient Testament). Job had unmerited suffering put upon him. It was allowed by God. (This right here will upset many of you but I believe God can allow whatever he sees best to befall anyone. I believe this because I know that God is more Good and more wild and transcendent and more terrifyingly wonderful than I have ever even begun to know!!!) Job was a man who pleased God yet lost all his family and home. All of his children in one day…cannot even go there!
Anyway I am saying all of that to say the story of Job is not about suffering in the way I always use to think, even though suffering is well displayed in its pages. The story of Job is that for him the worst thing that could ever happen was that he might lose his Peace with God…think about that.

Slow dancing home…

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Photo by Rhiannon Stone

 

Sun flowers turn their face toward the sun everyday of summer…

The ocean is pulled and pushed by the tide without missing a beat…

With each succeeding step I take in this slow dance I see less brambles and thorns and more rich colored roses…

I see bright green leaves of trees and the glorious redness of an apple… 

The high meadow mountain where the four rivers flow is getting closer and closer…

The lushness of Eden beckons and sings with the swaying pines…

The scent of jasmine and wisteria mingle through the air…

There is a warm wind that brings the warmth of summer yet I can see the harvest of fall and the daffodils and green of spring all at the same time…

The song of the rivers sing a Holy melody and I dance slowly on…

And oh such music, I can hear it so clearly in the laughter of children and the cries of the hurting…

Each step of this slow dance feels exactly right and I know I am dancing home…