I fill my pages with rhyme and verse

white book page with black pen

Photo by MESSALA CIULLA

I remember the good and leave the worst

I fill all my pages with rhyme and verse

Not much of it will matter to most

But some will understand the cost

 

I see a good day and leave the night

I paint a picture of the Hope in God’s light

May it never be said that I didn’t try

to speak the truth and expose the lie

 

This is the message we have heard from Christ and declare to you:God is light, pure light,  and in Him there is no darkness AT ALL!  1 John 1:5

 

 

 

 

 

You thought I never noticed you

 

 

shallow focus photography of a woman

Photo by Tainá Bernard

 

You thought I never noticed you

in those hallowed halls of high school angst.

Like Breakfast Club we each played a part

and everyone said I would break your heart.

 

You thought I was a Golden lady with no scars.

You said my blue-gray eyes shined like silver stars.

Truthfully I thought no one really cared.

Only you could  see that  I was a little scared.

 

You were my best friend and always true.

I went to the parties and always looked for you.

You were too afraid to come my way

and then you faded black one day.

 

Years came and went till we met again.

We talked and laughed until the sun shined in.

We professed our love and gratitude out loud.

Friends to the end we made that vow.

 

Now I am old and you have crossed the pale.

I can see the halls of heaven prevail.

Nobody ever was or had a friend more true.

How wrong you were to think I never noticed you.

 

(this is dedicated to Tim C.)

 

 

 

In the Eyes of It All

photo of person covered with brown textile

Photo by Noelle Otto

 

I don’t know where you went when you left me.

I have to believe you were sure you had to leave.

People always seem to have to be, have to go, have to hear what someone else has said.

The Truth running away like a spool of thread.

Still, I remember it felt like drowning in a rip tide.

There is a sadness in the end, in the eyes of it all.

I am much the stronger for it but I don’t wait for your call.

A Mom

high angle photo of woman on ladder

Photo by Samantha Garrote 

A mother is a 100 percent flawed human being who was allowed to have part in a unique way in another human beings life. Not every mom loved it, wanted it or succeeded at it. Some moms are sick. Some moms are wounded or abused. Some are driven by a secret or a demon. Some dreamed of being moms since they could talk, others did not. Some are natural at it (whatever that means). Some of us live, eat, and breathe it. Some of us enjoy every moment except maybe the fatigue! Some are fulfilled. Some are not. Some of us fail (ed) at it. Some are not biological Moms but are mothering anyway.


The Truth is most of us didn’t know what we were in for. For me being mom was more than I ever dreamed. It set me “right”. It makes me want to be a better person than I am. Motherhood gives me unspeakable joy and to be honest when it hurts it is the most painful experience. This holiday called Mother’s Day is not good or bad. It is a societal invention. That’s okay. If you are a mom this holiday and you enjoy it that is honorable. If this day brings you pain or grief this is honorable as well. We all must make our peace with our moms and with our children. Moms count in the billions. Moms are not a political agenda or a consumer product. Moms are people who love and want to be loved and fail or succeed depending upon the day or the moment of any given day. I am in the club. I wouldn’t change that. I have no regrets. To all the moms out there…let’s be kind to each other.

It is this…the answer

 

assorted color textile lot

Photo by Frans Van Heerden

 

The fabric we cling to so tightly that isn’t God, must break down

Our own coveted resources, our lifeboats all drowned

Though it may be beautiful fabric we have weaved

the failure of our remedies to control must be relieved

For that is when the Lord speaks…

 

 

Words on paper with ink

blank bouquet card color

Photo by Pixabay

I cannot keep trying to impress you

or manipulate what you  think of me

it matters very little in the Truth of my identity.

 

To anticipate if  you to like my verse

or if you’ll sing my tune or see my worth

all is Vanity  and Vanity is a curse.

 

To know a person one must be true it is said

So do what you will and think what you think

It is only just words on paper with ink.

 

Scatters Like a Cloud

 

photo of heart shaped balloon

Photo by Andreas Wohlfahrt

Like a cloud scattered by a strong wind

All illusions of security have blown away

So now I must stand on the Faith I have professed

In The One that keeps me in his sight!

 

All illusions of control are laid bare

Idols crumble like sand castles in the air

Gratitude has pierced my soul

It leads me to The Cross of His might!

 

Palms up, letting go, cleaning the house of my soul

Rhetoric and cliches must be purged in the clutter

Returning to the purity of being His Child

I still Trust in Him,  the Lover of my soul, who has already won this fight!

 

The Shell Seeker

 

 

brown sand

Photo by Miri

Standing on the highest sand dune people moved back and forth on the ground below.  She no longer has their youthfulness of an unlined face but she knew she finally possessed the joy of ageless Grace. The pilgrimage called her to this beautiful place. The wind and the sun an old friend on her face.

Now she is the shell seeker in the wide brimmed hat, as a child playing in the sun she’d laughed at people like that. She remembers younger  days when she grew weary but now the days of peace are what linger here.  Emotions don’t obey the rules they are the heartbeat in being human.  Like waves reaching the shore emotions can be kept for a moment but are better when given away.

The shell seeker’ s eye remains clear and adept while watching the children play. She knows that life is not going back but more of giving it away. The Truth is, life consists in learning and loving well with Grace underneath God’s sun.  To remain whole in the midst of life’s ups and downs, to surrender all secrets and lies is anointing oil to the soul. To shed insincerity and live in the present, the waves echo behind her now compelling her to go on.

Nothing about Love is passive…

purple flowers

Photo by Nadi Lindsay

 

Wisteria vines will grow on walls, over other plants  and  along the weathered splintered gray fence that is long forgotten. The vine of Wisteria is thick and knarled and strong…

The fragrance of the low hanging purple clumps of flowers permeated the bright spring day and it made her feel lightness in her heart that she had not experienced in a long while. She thought about how precious her memories of first love are. There in lies the treasure. It is in the pleasure and the pain…if you allow it,  first love leads to the Truth that we know nothing much of love.

She is older now and reflects back often on what she thought love was as a young woman or rather perhaps she was simply in love with what she thought love was. She loved but then she lived. In that living she learned that love is tough as nails. Love is knarled like the Wisteria vine. Love will grow over barriers and around obstacles still blooming and still fragrant. Love is having the strength to stay. Love is a wild and furious risk, a pouring out of all that one can from that cup and drink it. Love is rich and poor. Love is sickness and health. Love is a verb, an action word. Nothing about love is passive. Love cannot be manipulated. Love. Risks. Everything. The Holy God is Love’s name…ponder this, ponder Him…you will find Him because Love never quits and perfect Love cast out all fear and Love never ever fails.

 

 

 

Desert Place

 

 

person in desert

Photo by Joel Friend

 

 

When this young prodigal daughter wandered

It was not because You, O God changed in time. 

You O blessed Savior still sought the one and left the ninety-nine.

 

I could not outrun your Grace even in the valley of the shadow,

I kept seeing your face in my disgrace and sorrow.

You said, “I have already won the battle”

 

As I lay deserted there I heard you call me Friend. .

Dying within an inch of my life I thought you must be a dream

But you Lord whispered “everyone needs to learn, from a desert comes a stream.”