writing

Slow dancing home…

/ jill autrey dorman
person in blue shirt on sunflower field photo shot

Photo by Rhiannon Stone

 

Sun flowers turn their face toward the sun everyday of summer…

The ocean is pulled and pushed by the tide without missing a beat…

With each succeeding step I take in this slow dance I see less brambles and thorns and more rich colored roses…

I see bright green leaves of trees and the glorious redness of an apple… 

The high meadow mountain where the four rivers flow is getting closer and closer…

The lushness of Eden beckons and sings with the swaying pines…

The scent of jasmine and wisteria mingle through the air…

There is a warm wind that brings the warmth of summer yet I can see the harvest of fall and the daffodils and green of spring all at the same time…

The song of the rivers sing a Holy melody and I dance slowly on…

And oh such music, I can hear it so clearly in the laughter of children and the cries of the hurting…

Each step of this slow dance feels exactly right and I know I am dancing home…

 

 

 

Next Generation of The Church…

/ jill autrey dorman / 3 Comments

pexels-photo-247195.jpeg

 

I truly love my daughter’s generation (thirty somethings), well I don’t love all of their music (I can’t believe I am my parents)…I have enormous respect for their mantra…”I don’t have all the answers and neither do you.” I love how they can smell a “fake of any kind” within seconds! They live in a culture that isn’t buying into Christian consumerism, they are not for sale. They do not want to be entertained at Church (God knows there is enough entertainment in social media). They want to know God, experience His real presence and find worship in their own hearts that is not manufactured for one day a week on a stage. I just love that! I will say it absolutely terrifies me as well. The shift in our world to “postmodernism” makes me feel like I am floating in slow motion in water through a world I recognized but it is slipping away. Part of this exhilarates me and part of it so uncomfortable that my heart races, I am anxious, and will wake in the middle of the night and pray. I pray that they won’t throw the baby out with the bath water in some kind of reverse Dogma.
This tension is a must in the relationships of life. The relationship with the God who made us right down to the people who love us for better or worse. The thing is Jesus and “tension” go hand in hand. If we study his life we will see that His “absolutes” were few but man were they TENSE! So simple yet so “in your face”…”hear the word of the Father and do it and love others and forgive everyone else”…are you kidding me?
God intensely loves my children’s generation. No one wants more for our kids than God does! I believe that. For me it is evident in the women my girls have become in spite of me. Their grace and graciousness continue to astound me.
So when I feel alien in a postmodern world I look at them. At the Jesus in them and I take a deep breath and I know that Jesus made a way for every generation to find Him, to come to Him, and that through Him they will find the presence of God’s peace. So when I am not panicking or praying I am cheering them on with all my heart, my love, and my being to “press on” to love Jesus, love others and forgive all.

Reversing Thunder

/ jill autrey dorman
lightning on the sky

Photo by Ayu Shaky

 

You were fascinated by my  turnings

Women chatter in the market place

I’ve now  gone further than your worries

See the lines upon my face?

 

I need solitude to  write I said

I’m lacking the academic brain

It’s so hard not to steal the moments

before they fly off into space.

 

I speak your promises back to you oh God

Reversing Thunder by your Holy Word!

There is no other Truth to stand on

this sums up all I’ve learned!

 

 

 

Once on Heroin

/ jill autrey dorman
person wearing red hoodie

Photo by sebastiaan stam

 

She opened the door, called out his name

he lie there dead, a needle in his vein…

the devils’ been round, staking his old claim

now nothing is ever gonna be the same…

 

oh God we try to make it right

deliver us from  evil, deliver us from night

it seems there is nothing good

nothing that remains…

 

another child dead

another sad song

one try of heroin

another child gone…

 

Psalms 119:50 This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life.

 

Jesus and Women, the oil of Joy…

/ jill autrey dorman / 2 Comments
selective focus photo of bottle with cork lid

Photo by Mareefe on Pexels.com

 

Side bar, just a short one I promise… (This sounds like theology 101 but fear not…it is not boring! It is absolutely fabulous for women.)

  • In the recorded life of Jesus we can clearly see that he never assumes there are rules in following Him designed for women only.  Jesus treated women as unique individuals. Nowhere does he condescend to flatter women, he rather demands as much from them as from men.

You have been anointed by the Holy One and you know the Truth. 1 John 2:20

Jesus’ approach to women is revolutionary considering the cultural norm of his day. When we hear the “Woman at the Well” story in the traditional exegesis, so much is made of the fact that this woman had multiple marriages and is in quite a predicament of living with a man, even as she speaks to Jesus, who is not her husband. Not only is that issue not the focus of this conversation with Christ but he actually gives her an apostolic role: Once she believes and is made a follower of Christ (disciple) she call others as Jesus called the twelve. She says “come and see” and others believed “because of her word.”

I love this declaration of Jesus’ first “evangelist move.” It clearly frees us of any cultural or theological hang up that women are NOT messengers of “The Kingdom of Heaven” that Jesus came to establish.

“Exposure to Jesus and His Kingdom are not  related at all to being male or female. The Gospel of Jesus is about receiving the testimony of the Spirit and embracing the hope of the gospel.”  Don’t you just love that? (1 Corinthians 2:14)

Jesus will not be “pimped out” for us…

/ jill autrey dorman

 

affection board broken broken hearted

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

A pact forged in eternity passed, present, and future between the three persons of the Godhead. Heavy stuff you say? Not even the tip of the iceberg…think on this a while… An eternal agreement in which The Father God sent the Son of God on a mission that he (The Son, Jesus) gladly obeyed to every jot and tittle so that the Spirit of God could come and reveal all to those who believe…

Jesus does not need for us to SAVE people (he does that alone and without help from us),  manipulate people, abuse people, shame people, destroy people and/or ourselves. He cannot be bought for a “book” deal, a “mega” church, or even for “good” charity….

In spite of all you’ve said
it’s never been in your hands
So let us speak a farewell eulogy
over all our plans

Light the match that burns the bridge
that doesn’t lead to Grace
Now I clearly recognize
I am a stranger in this place

Every street I’ve walked upon
had to be redeemed
The places where I lay my head
never felt like home it seems

Light the match that burns the bridge
that doesn’t lead to repentance and Grace
Light the match that burns
the alters and idols we have made

It is a Lover’s dream we all have to tell
It is a Ship of Dreams that never did set sail
I wander in and out of a sleepless fog
Hearing peaceful song that draws me to the Throne of God

The Cleft at Rock Bottom

/ jill autrey dorman / 4 Comments

“Your fierceness has deceived you, the pride of your heart…”

mountain view

Photo by Tatiana on Pexels.com

I hit rock bottom. For me it wasn’t an addiction that spiritually bankrupt me. It was me, my desire to be my own god that brought me to the end of my self.  At rock bottom someone was waiting for me. He had been there all along. At rock bottom I remembered like the younger brother in the Prodigal Son story that I had a heavenly Father who was calling out to me to come home! I love that the Father’s heart has not changed toward his Child and I love that the son’s heart has deeply repented (changed) regarding his actions and his deep regret of his rebellion and sin…

With the daily news full of young and old stars overdosing or ending their own lives makes me ponder what is “Rock Bottom” for us all?

who’s at the bottom of the bottle?

who’s at the end of the needle?

who’s there after the divorce?

who’s there after the empty nest? 

who is there when the man comes to you and tells you you have cancer?

who’s there when you have all the money in the world or none at all?

The Cleft at Rock Bottom is the only the One who delights in us. The only  One who counted the cost and yet charges us nothing. If I have learned one thing in life it is that the Refuge I have found in God through Jesus Christ is the only Refuge that is offered freely.

He gives an open invitation to come and be sheltered in the dwelling of God, The Most High. At rock bottom Jesus is the cleft in the rock. I encourage anyone who might read this post to come! Come and abide in the Cleft of the Rock that is Jesus Christ.

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: My God, in Him will I trust.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is the root that leads to fruit…

/ jill autrey dorman / 2 Comments
green tree photo

Photo by Felix Mittermeier on Pexels.com

 

It’s the root that lead to fruit.  When you dig down about two knuckles deep under a fruit bearing tree you will expose the gnarled bumps on the bark. That is where all the nutrients and energy are. The thicker the branch the older the tree. Ah, there is a metaphor in there somewhere. The more foliage to wood ratio means the tree produces less fruit than their offspring but the older tree produces larger, heavier fruit with more strength, oil, and taste in it.

Being grounded and rooted like the Bible talks about does have to do with maturity as in age.  Psychologist and author Dr. Hud McWilliams states, “Maturing is the weakest link in the Christian walk. You can spot immaturity by how much gratitude, joy, and dimension the believer has. God is NOT one dimensional.”  In other words, God is not just into let’s say “healing” people. He is about the whole person.

“The infinite dimensions of God are what marks His being as different as ours.” Yes we are made in his image but we are human. We are finite. We are created to be finite but our spirits are what goes on into those other dimensions that man cannot fathom. We were created to bear the mark of His image which is love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  patience, and self-control. These are the fruits of being image bearer.

 

She felt as if she has stepped off the very edge of the earth…

/ jill autrey dorman

 

beach calm clouds coast

Photo by Ibrahim Asad Pexels.com

 

She felt as if she had stepped off the very edge of the earth

Following  the gull she tilted her head to its arc of flight

Her pocket  filled with a beachcomber’s small treasure

Fingering each curve and dash of the shells awash with sun and sea

 

In the early evening light the sea shimmered and shifted gently

The tones of lapis and turquoise dazzled her vision

while the white sand beneath her feet cushioned the touch of the earth

Taking a deep breath of the salt air she wished she could live here forever.

 

The Christian Conversation…

/ jill autrey dorman
marketing man person communication

Photo by Gratisography 

It seems to me that all people who I know, even those who don’t agree with me politically or spiritually, long for redemption in some form. They want to be heard. To have  value. To redeem the things inside of us that hurt us and others. These automatic responses of “defensive behavior” which only seem to widen the gap in our ability to be relational in this world must be exposed for growth to occur.

We seem to mix up guilt and shame into a toxic cocktail that instead of leading to redemption gives us a false sense of entitlement or justice…”well, I have behaved like this because so and so was done to me…” Or, we fill up our “empty self” with something to make us think we matter…
As I grow older (63 in December) I have a passion for myself and the people around me to, as one writer puts it, “have the freedom to doubt, to have fear, to fail, to be overwhelmed, to be angry, to have passion…that is the dignity that God gives us…that comes from God living deep within me…This IS the Christian conversation.”

 
In my recent study (almost three years now) of Job’s life I am so strongly compelled by his (Job’s) conversations with God and his friends and family. Job experiences every grief, emotion, pain, failure, fear, and joy that is the human experience…He loves God, he gets angry with God. His friends support him AND forsake him…his family is taken away, his wife mourns without him. He is utterly alone and physically ill yet all the while he is aware that God is present and that THIS conversation going on is the one that all the other conversations (life) are perched upon…

 

The thing about Jesus and His cross of atoning death and his Resurrection is that it is for everyone! Anyone! Billions before us have known this is true. We are “invited” to come and see that the Lord is good. Then we are invited by his holy power to grow up an invite others. No one is not welcome at the cross. Never forget.

 
My friend, Dr. Hud McWilliams, who is a great teacher and thinker and counselor told me the most challenging part of his work is to convince adults that your largest part of growing is STILL TO COME. He said, “you should grow until death.”

 
Some deep thoughts today no doubt but this is the conversation of life that drives me…I am grateful for it and see it as a huge gift…something to think about…