She felt as if she has stepped off the very edge of the earth…

 

beach calm clouds coast

Photo by Ibrahim Asad Pexels.com

 

She felt as if she had stepped off the very edge of the earth

Following  the gull she tilted her head to its arc of flight

Her pocket  filled with a beachcomber’s small treasure

Fingering each curve and dash of the shells awash with sun and sea

 

In the early evening light the sea shimmered and shifted gently

The tones of lapis and turquoise dazzled her vision

while the white sand beneath her feet cushioned the touch of the earth

Taking a deep breath of the salt air she wished she could live here forever.

 

This Mess Called Life

selective focus photography of pink peony flowers

Photo by Valeria Boltneva on Pexels.com

 

A penny for the boy
A peony for the girl
Oh the losing and winning
The dying and living…

Cry for sorrows
Laugh for joy
Smile at the mirror
Frown at the noise…

 

I want to stay right here
In this mess called “life”
Scare it off the pages
And watch it sparkle in the light.

 

 

 

 

The Christian Conversation…

marketing man person communication

Photo by Gratisography 

It seems to me that all people who I know, even those who don’t agree with me politically or spiritually, long for redemption in some form. They want to be heard. To have  value. To redeem the things inside of us that hurt us and others. These automatic responses of “defensive behavior” which only seem to widen the gap in our ability to be relational in this world must be exposed for growth to occur.

We seem to mix up guilt and shame into a toxic cocktail that instead of leading to redemption gives us a false sense of entitlement or justice…”well, I have behaved like this because so and so was done to me…” Or, we fill up our “empty self” with something to make us think we matter…
As I grow older (63 in December) I have a passion for myself and the people around me to, as one writer puts it, “have the freedom to doubt, to have fear, to fail, to be overwhelmed, to be angry, to have passion…that is the dignity that God gives us…that comes from God living deep within me…This IS the Christian conversation.”

 
In my recent study (almost three years now) of Job’s life I am so strongly compelled by his (Job’s) conversations with God and his friends and family. Job experiences every grief, emotion, pain, failure, fear, and joy that is the human experience…He loves God, he gets angry with God. His friends support him AND forsake him…his family is taken away, his wife mourns without him. He is utterly alone and physically ill yet all the while he is aware that God is present and that THIS conversation going on is the one that all the other conversations (life) are perched upon…

 

The thing about Jesus and His cross of atoning death and his Resurrection is that it is for everyone! Anyone! Billions before us have known this is true. We are “invited” to come and see that the Lord is good. Then we are invited by his holy power to grow up an invite others. No one is not welcome at the cross. Never forget.

 
My friend, Dr. Hud McWilliams, who is a great teacher and thinker and counselor told me the most challenging part of his work is to convince adults that your largest part of growing is STILL TO COME. He said, “you should grow until death.”

 
Some deep thoughts today no doubt but this is the conversation of life that drives me…I am grateful for it and see it as a huge gift…something to think about…

Getting older…

sunset sun horizon priroda

My body is softer now. My skin has begun to drape like crepe paper. I do not have to wear glasses to read  but I do to drive. I hope to gracefully age for my daughters, although a lot of my friends have had “work done” and while it is tempting, it is not me. I was voted “most like Mary Ann on Gilligan’s island” at a class reunion once. I like that title and will keep that as a compliment (I can’t pull off Ginger for sure) but I still color  my hair. Just can not take the gray yet graceful or not.
Walking purposefully and briskly until death. I  long to finish my life well. I do not  know what lies ahead. I navigate and then I wait. I try to stay in the moment. I try to continue to grow. The alternative is death.
I know real Continue reading

The Hourglass

 

clear glass with red sand grainer

Your Mama knew I loved you boy

before you ever did see.

She said I have a poet’s soul

I thought no one could see.

 

 

I guess I always loved you boy

though I never really knew.

When we’re young and wild

It’s a wonder that we do.

 

 

Where did all the time go boy

sand through the hourglass?

Young love they say is magic

just like splendor in the grass.

Eternal prospective or why I stopped blaming the Church…

pexels-photo-257030.jpeg

 

From the minute the Resurrected living Jesus, God/Man ascended into heaven the “Church”, { people who want to follow Christ,}  was already in disagreement, misunderstanding, judgement, lack of unity, and broken relationships. They were overwhelmed humans who had their hearts touched by Christ but no one could suspect where the journey of Sanctification would take each one of us.  Jesus knew it would be hard for us when he left here for a season but he also knew the Power of The Holy Spirit was to come and lead, guide, teach, counsel, and comfort us…

From birth to about the age of fifteen The Church was like a Mother’s womb for me. I was nurtured there, taught there, grew in the knowledge of The Word of God there. I quickly learned the native customs, soon a hymn and bible verse or two. You learn to speak Christian-eze rather quickly and “take on” an “idea” of who God is and how you are supposed to live but then one day you realize you cannot trust these people and they cannot trust you UNLESS you can admit that we all are simply trying to find our way in Jesus Christ.  Trust must be earned by day in and day out relationships.

As time goes on  you see that there is so much more to this Church thing. You see the gap that often lies between what we say and what we do. When you are young you don’t realize that this gap is the utter “human problem.” It is so easy to call them all hypocrites and judge them harshly therefore making my self the very same hypocrite…

I came to see that because each of us is so broken in one way or another that we are not equipped to love each other well without the Spirit of Truth in us, Jesus. We are not full of forgiveness most of the time because we do not really understand how serious God is about His Holiness nor do we (most of the time) realize the COST of Forgiveness.  His forgiveness is of course rooted in love for us but He forgives us because of one thing only which is the price that was paid by His Son, Jesus, on the Cross. 

I also came to realize that expecting forgiveness and understanding was so arrogant of me. We all have masks we wear, we all hold forgiveness from others and judgment and bigotry in our hearts UNTIL we are regenerated, born again if you will. Until we are transformed. This transformation while INSTANT in Salvation is also a process by which we grow and learn the Joy of our Salvation.

So, I hold none of you, my brother and sisters in Christ, responsible for my hurt, my wounds. I let it all go because Jesus let all of my stuff go and I stand in Him only. I long to empty my self of my self so that there is nothing left but Jesus and his love. (Philippians 2.)

There is so much more to the Christian life than what is here on earth. The eternal perspective is one that only God can reveal to each of us. We are put here to simply “know Christ and make him known.” The Holy Spirit will do and does all the work.

So if you have been wounded or wronged by the Body Of Christ, I ask for forgiveness from YOU! And if the Gospel of Jesus has done one single thing for me (which what He has done is immeasurable) then who am I to be unforgiving for what someone did to me?

To have Joy I must Trust in all that is Christ and in that Freedom we experience Service and in our service we experience Joy.