Photo by Kristina Paukshtite
If I die tomorrow my sweet grandbabies won’t remember
how I held and rocked and loved them with all I’ve got.
They will not know I sang them songs made up just for them,
or how I prayed everyday of my life
that they will follow the call of God.
I hold you now with such unfailing love though
I will not be here to keep every grief at bay
I hope you’ll feel these arms holding you now
and know I am yours Forever and a day.
Photo by alleksana
When Coca-Cola only came in a bottle
now seems like halcyon days in my mind.
I know there is no such thing as the good old days,
still it was the simplest of times.
We had one car families and all walked to school,
time moved slower because it had to.
There was not such a rush to grow up and move on.
The days were full and the nighttime warm.
When Coca-Cola only came in a bottle
all was right in my world.
Photo by Ricardo Esquivel
Have you ever had the strange sensation of having traveled off the map of your own existence?
It is like moving in a mysterious land where you only know a smattering of words in that language and feel so far removed from your core being.
Some scholars call this some kind disorder of adjustment but I disagree.
I find this to be a time of challenge and exuberance in this journey.
A bigger lens through which to view the magnificence of this great pilgrimage, from the cradle to the grave and beyond…
then just as quietly or quickly some sound or smell or jolt of love for someone brings me back home.
I am now standing in my familiar dimension and even though I do not feel totally whole in this earth shell…
I know that I belong here for now until I know that I don’t anymore.
…And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.” John 8:32
Photo by Matheus Bertelli
Her tiny toddler body lays wrapped against mine.
Her breathing is God singing, His Love her sigh.
No guile no malice no doubt or fear.
Her precious hands show me God is near.
She whispers my name as she falls asleep.
Never a sweeter word has been spoken to me.
My heart could burst open when I smell her sweet head.
If there is a treasure on earth more than this I choose this song instead.
Photo by Samantha Garrote
A mother is a 100 percent flawed human being who was allowed to have part in a unique way in another human beings life. Not every mom loved it, wanted it or succeeded at it. Some moms are sick. Some moms are wounded or abused. Some are driven by a secret or a demon. Some dreamed of being moms since they could talk, others did not. Some are natural at it (whatever that means). Some of us live, eat, and breathe it. Some of us enjoy every moment except maybe the fatigue! Some are fulfilled. Some are not. Some of us fail (ed) at it. Some are not biological Moms but are mothering anyway.
The Truth is most of us didn’t know what we were in for. For me being mom was more than I ever dreamed. It set me “right”. It makes me want to be a better person than I am. Motherhood gives me unspeakable joy and to be honest when it hurts it is the most painful experience. This holiday called Mother’s Day is not good or bad. It is a societal invention. That’s okay. If you are a mom this holiday and you enjoy it that is honorable. If this day brings you pain or grief this is honorable as well. We all must make our peace with our moms and with our children. Moms count in the billions. Moms are not a political agenda or a consumer product. Moms are people who love and want to be loved and fail or succeed depending upon the day or the moment of any given day. I am in the club. I wouldn’t change that. I have no regrets. To all the moms out there…let’s be kind to each other.
Photo by Miri
Standing on the highest sand dune people moved back and forth on the ground below. She no longer has their youthfulness of an unlined face but she knew she finally possessed the joy of ageless Grace. The pilgrimage called her to this beautiful place. The wind and the sun an old friend on her face.
Now she is the shell seeker in the wide brimmed hat, as a child playing in the sun she’d laughed at people like that. She remembers younger days when she grew weary but now the days of peace are what linger here. Emotions don’t obey the rules they are the heartbeat in being human. Like waves reaching the shore emotions can be kept for a moment but are better when given away.
The shell seeker’ s eye remains clear and adept while watching the children play. She knows that life is not going back but more of giving it away. The Truth is, life consists in learning and loving well with Grace underneath God’s sun. To remain whole in the midst of life’s ups and downs, to surrender all secrets and lies is anointing oil to the soul. To shed insincerity and live in the present, the waves echo behind her now compelling her to go on.
Photo by Nadi Lindsay
Wisteria vines will grow on walls, over other plants and along the weathered splintered gray fence that is long forgotten. The vine of Wisteria is thick and knarled and strong…
The fragrance of the low hanging purple clumps of flowers permeated the bright spring day and it made her feel lightness in her heart that she had not experienced in a long while. She thought about how precious her memories of first love are. There in lies the treasure. It is in the pleasure and the pain…if you allow it, first love leads to the Truth that we know nothing much of love.
She is older now and reflects back often on what she thought love was as a young woman or rather perhaps she was simply in love with what she thought love was. She loved but then she lived. In that living she learned that love is tough as nails. Love is knarled like the Wisteria vine. Love will grow over barriers and around obstacles still blooming and still fragrant. Love is having the strength to stay. Love is a wild and furious risk, a pouring out of all that one can from that cup and drink it. Love is rich and poor. Love is sickness and health. Love is a verb, an action word. Nothing about love is passive. Love cannot be manipulated. Love. Risks. Everything. The Holy God is Love’s name…ponder this, ponder Him…you will find Him because Love never quits and perfect Love cast out all fear and Love never ever fails.
Photo by Joel Friend
When this young prodigal daughter wandered
It was not because You, O God changed in time.
You O blessed Savior still sought the one and left the ninety-nine.
I could not outrun your Grace even in the valley of the shadow,
I kept seeing your face in my disgrace and sorrow.
You said, “I have already won the battle”
As I lay deserted there I heard you call me Friend. .
Dying within an inch of my life I thought you must be a dream
But you Lord whispered “everyone needs to learn, from a desert comes a stream.”
Photo by Eternal Happiness
As I lay down my head in week six of this catastrophe I just want to say if you can fall asleep but not stay asleep that is okay. If a myriad of emotions and logic are surfing on your brain waves it’s ok. If you fall asleep and wake on a couch or a child’s room it’s ok. If you are praying more it’s ok. If you cannot find the words to pray it’s okay. If you are a conqueror one minute and not so brave the next minute it’s ok. If there are a hundred thoughts and feelings lying under the five you speak it’s ok. If you mourn for the dead and grieve for our globe it’s ok. These are where the avenues of grief and change and loss take us. It is ok. If you are active in politico or have turned all media completely off it’s okay. For it is not strength to pretend you are thriving in uncertainty and that you struggle with doubt and fear. It is in our weaknesses and doubts that God comes near. He is not limited not tethered to a cosmic heavenly throne. He is right here with us in our fragility and we are not alone. Jesus knows every cell of human bondage. He knows of courage being one heartbeat away from fear. Jesus is Emmanuel, God with us and He is with us now. So rest your weary head in his comfort when you can. I have seen His beauty and have tasted His goodness and it is a healing balm. Lay down your head and rest my friends for tomorrow we will try again. There is victory in His power over things we can’t understand. I have seen His Salvation in life and in death and He has never forgotten not one of His own since before the foundation of the world. Shalom tonight dear world. As for me I have tasted and have seen the goodness of the Lord and He is more than we can fathom and so if today you fell apart it’s okay because He never will…
Photo by Trung Nguyen
Everything that used to be solid is suddenly fluid.
The mid-afternoon sky the color of hammered gold
Waves of heat rising from the horizon looks like water only to find a hard rock road
I do love living where the Sky is bigger
Somehow it feels tedious to have too many trees above
If I don’t know you then I don’t know anybody
It is like waiting to touch the bottom of a bottomless well
Jill Autrey Dorman 