He was the only one there in that dark still night
I was flayed open with a razor sharp knife
He said are you ready to rise from the dead?
Through sobs and his blood yes was all I said
He said I am the love you are counting on
I am the only One when all others are gone
I am the one who carries you when you fall
Through doubts and sorrow I’ve paid it all
He is the one who gave His all for me
He fought for me to the bloody end
And on that day when He rose again
He said I am all I have ever been
He held me there as life seeped in
He is everything no one else has been
He is my champion, teacher, Redeemer, and friend
He is the one I will count on until the end
She said I can’t go through this again
I can’t cover up your sin
She just kept walking down the road
Trying to drop that heavy load
Oh the days go better than the nights
The prayers crack through a little light
The storm blows in like a runaway train
Jesus is standing there calling her name
Her hooded gray blue eyes are unexpectedly bright
She speaks of the “old days, the days of Bell Fright”
The terror, relentless ringing in the darkest hour of the night.
Communism she says, “did not deliver futures bright.”
Just more betrayal and fear, and torture called Bell Fright.
Not the Nazis, no but Comrades Stalin and Marx
Different regimes but same death toll ringing in their hearts.
Haunting broken melodies played on Hungarian violins
She still shivers with the memories of dark dank cells
She says no one ever knew before it could be so cold in hell.
This poem is inspired by the book Goodbye to Budapest by Margarita Morris and to all who have survived the Bell Fright of dictators of evil.
Where does Comfort hide on nights like this
when I feel all the loss and the ones I miss?
Comfort dodges me like shadows on the wall
I know I must renew my mind or else I will surely fall…
Fall into doubt of my firm foundation
Fall into distortion of Evil’s confrontations
Fall into fear and lies of what lay ahead
So I will fight for my heart with His Sword of Truth
I will fan the flame of Faith I have had since my youth
I will rejoice that His Grace is sufficient thus far
and Grace will lead me on as I travel this star…
I will kneel at the foot of His Holy Cross
I will give thanks for all I have gained and not lost
So as the Comforter whispers His command of sweet Peace
The night shadows vanish and all shadows must cease
Now I will rest in the arms of my Heavenly Dad
and fall into the best sleep there is to be had
…and be renewed in the spirit of your mind… (Ephesians 4:23)
The sound of blood thundering in my ears…crashing to shore like a wave on a cliff crushing all the breath from my body. Utter fear pounding and pounding in my brain. My heart aches with the “unknowing” of a thing. A small blip of Faith still beats now and again. My eyes see no pathway. My ears only hear a rushing like thunder…wild and furious are my thoughts. Will He BE who He says He is? Doubt mocks me with every second of my pain…is there another moment left to me? I must now meet my God who loves me…oh yes, I will meet Him here or there…where there is no marking of time. It is God who justifies. Will I flesh out what I say I believe? Not by MY might and not by MY spirit but by the Lord’s “no holes barred” power alone. Right now! Right here! Loss, fear, joy, war, victory, death, and life…I cry out without words or sound…blip, blip, faith, blip, blip, faith…then a wisp of Presence. A command for Peace. I cry to The One I have never seen and then sight of soul dawns like morning.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,  Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38,39)