My friend is dying. We have been the truest of friends over fifty years. My smart, (I am talking qualifies for Mensa smart), funny, and oh so beautiful friend. We do not speak of dying much. We have long since beaten that “dead horse” (pun intended) a while ago. The buckets of tears, prayers, questions, meeting new Doctors, holding it together for family members…yes, we do all of that together because we must.
My friend is not a person who wants or needs attention. In fact, she is always calling to check on me! She is navigating the cruelest road I can imagine, and I have seen my share of people dying due to my career. My Friend and I talk about how Death is hideous in any form. This does not mean my friend is always perfect or even doing okay because this disease is as cruel as any out there. There are days when she cannot speak or move. There are days she will not stop talking. There are days she cries all day long and other days where she is watching Netflix and stuffs her face with pizza…
We see each other as much as possible or speak on the phone. Every time we part, she says, “remember and Hold on for one more day.” Recently I asked her to explain , and she said, “do you ever enjoy something so much like Christmas morning, or going to your child’s first school play, or your wedding day (or divorce day), or even being with someone when they die but when that day or event is over you know you won’t feel that again for another year or maybe ever?” She looked at me with her spring-green eyes and said, “We, all of us, every single human, are Trusted by the God who made us with remembering those sparks that make life such a treasure. So, we string those bits and glimpses of human treasures together like rare pearls and wear them near our heart. We must remember what love is, remember the sensation of sun on our face, or salt water on our lips. Remember our lover’s breath in our ear and our baby’s smell, and all the while we know that the next day everything will not be like it was on THIS day! So, when I say Remember and hold on for one more day, I am just saying tomorrow could bring a moment of sweetness, ecstatic happiness, or smooth Joy or a sunset in colors never seen before. Tomorrow could gift us a happening, an event, a feeling, a treasure that we never had before…so I just keep remembering and hold on for one more day. When I die, I will be wearing those pearls.”
“Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.” Matthew 13:45-46
But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”— 2Corinthians 2:9
…all civilizations, and ages both on earth and heaven hinges on them …they profoundly transform those who hear, say, and believe them …they annihilate shame, guilt, burden, loneliness,depression, and death …they provide supernatural joy, freedom, and hope …they expose and destroy all lies, suffering, and evil …they hold all the mysteries of creation, time, and purpose …they drag “lies” kicking and screaming into the light and banish darkness …they wreak havoc on all evil authority and authenticity …they redefine success and sincerity and sacrifice …they are immediately understood and leave their mark when spoken …they hold in their meaning all beginnings and endings Three words… “He is Risen”
Many people assume that faith means having a heart full of peace and quiet confidence in the Lord. I must tell you that I have not had quiet confidence lately. I have had a sad and sorrowful few days. I have been exhausted in every way. I have not had beautiful prayers rolling off my tongue. I have had a restlessness within me. I have NOT hidden my suffering or weaknesses which is absolutely the thing most Christians are either taught to do or somehow believe they must ONLY reveal to the unconverted world some formula or portrait that the walk of Faith means you won’t suffer. This is not to say that there is no relationship between faith and peace. There most certainly is, however the more extraordinary fact is as believers we often find ourselves in the position of having to fight for dear life just to recall the basics of our faith. As Jude wrote, we must “contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to those who follow Christ.”
One author said, The fabric of things break down; there is a failure of all human resources. But it is out of this very failure that the Lord speaks. To deny that suffering of all kinds has not only a legitimate but a central place in Christianity is to deny the gospel. “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” teaches Paul in Acts 14:22.
So friend, if you are feeling the strain of your journey. If you are grieving or sick or alone in your hardship I would like to encourage you as I have been encouraged through God’s Word that day after day I must take heart, put on the armor of righteousness, and face the enemy who would destroy my Faith if he could but he cannot because Jesus and Cross of Jesus which is the ultimate suffering is where the battle was fought and His resurrection is my strength and can be yours as well.
…at street level, the life of faith is always a matter of Trust. I am always reminded of this when I look around in a world I barely recognize. I desire Truth in my soul just like I need air to breathe.
…what is the power of this longing that this world cannot satisfly? It is the longing God placed in us for “paradise complete” and the “not yet”.
…at street level, the life of faith is always a matter of Trust.
Jill Autrey Dorman 