Drift off into the opioid of sabotage…

 

grey cliff beside ocean

Photo by Simon Clayton

Do not let me go to sleep and drift off into the opioid of sabotage

Sin and persistent failures a cunning addiction 

I grow weary of all the brutal truth of how one must guard the deep longing of their heart

For I wander high upon the cliff and the sea glistens enchanted below

I envy your assurance but  find mine for my self

Though I am anxious to arrive I wish the journey to an end

A silence I cannot hear whispers of  the Living Water where there are no dangers hidden

 

“…if you would ask him he would give you living water…(John 4:10)

 

 

 

 

 

I Know…

 

aerial photo of boat on sea

Photo by Pok Rie

 

I was not your faithful friend

I was not truthful, no

I am not the best daughter, sister, wife, or mother

But I know The One who is all I have not been

 

The One who is a kind and faithful friend

The One who always tells the Truth, yes

The One who is the best in me that I cannot be

The One who’s is all I have not been

 

So when you think of how I let you down

And remember the times I did not live in truth

I want you to know that I know

Jesus is The One who is all I have not been

Sunshine (a poem by me in high school)

 

background beam beautiful close up

Photo by Pixabay 

Sunshine stay with me a while I haven’t had you for so long

You are gentle and make me laugh and sing a happy song

We will not speak of love unless it should happen to grow

We will just run and play,  you are a shelter from the cold

You are just the thing I need to help me heal again

There is no way of knowing if we will ever end

Sunshine stay with me a while we will both be free

You are just the thing I need, you let me be me

The Cathedral Tree

 

snow covered green plant

Photo by Marta Dzedyshko

Like the vaults of God’s Holy temple

the blue spruce branches arch over me

Each heavily draped with new fallen snow

I kneel down in grateful prayer under the Cathedral Tree

 

I have never been one to love easily and trust

but You Oh God have loved me with perfect love

I was heavily draped in sin and you washed me white as snow

I kneel down in humility under the Cathedral Tree

 

 

 

Everybody moving blindly forward…

school of fish

Photo by Matthew T Rader

Everybody moving blindly forward, like fish in a shoal

How long have we been losing touch with our souls?

Everybody hating what they can not  understand

 

We surely did not gain good from the knowledge of evil

We surely forsook the only wise God and Creator

We tried to be our own gods but could not do it better

 

I know this is not how the story ends for His image bearers

I know the Master Writer’s plan can not be thwarted

Let it be oh Lord I pray  our Faith be made sight today

The emptiness of my conciet and arrogance…

photo of river during daytime

Photo by Ionut Cerchia 

 

As I sat in the still and In the mess

In the emptiness of my own conceit and arrogance

The old man with white hair said,

“these are your thorns to bear…”

 

When the only free person in the room

Is the one who is in chains

Then it is time to look at what man calls “justice”

Pontius Pilate could not deny his claims

 

It is in vulnerability that God’s Grace comes

It is in the mourning that the Grief is fulfilled

It is in the freedom of Truth that I want to run

It is in humility that true courage is spilled

 

 

” Knowledge and Truth are not the same, never be deceived by that…” Dr. Hud McWilliams

alphabet class conceptual cube

Photo by Pixabay 

 

I am not anyone’s authority on what they read, or who they listen to or what blogs they like to follow. I just know that for me, a little caution bell went off in my head the other day about “rightly dividing the Word of Truth” and the heavy responsibility that goes with it.
Jesus said, “See that no one lead you astray.” Matthew 24:4
We often think of humility as an awareness of our faults, but humility is an awareness of our limitations.

Here is why I am discerning a red flag in my head and am being led by the Holy Spirit to “check” myself and who I am following.

Over 20 million women (conservative number) are known to follow someone like Glennon Doyle Melton, Jen Hatmaker, Beth Moore, Priscilla Shire, Jennie Allen (If:Equip ministry), Ann VosKamp, Shauna Nyquist, Lysa TerKeurst (Proverbs 31 Ministries) or a group of women under the umbrella of “She Speaks Truth” ministry, and many more on Social Media.
Most of these ladies started out sharing their stories via Blog, or by writing books, and speaking engagements. The things they have to say obviously resonate with women. Whether it is how to cope in marriage, Motherhood, single life, health issues, spiritual issues, sexuality issues or just light subjects like decorating your home or cooking healthy.
This type of teaching and leadership, if you call it that, is taking off in “The Church” culture for women but are often para-ministries meaning they are not under Biblical authority, or are they? You must choose for yourself with the guidance of the very real and present Holy Spirit of God. Just because you agree with some things a woman might say doesn’t make her a Truth speaker.
Truth stands alone,  “outside of us” in our humanity until we become the daughters of God through Jesus Christ the Truth then dwells in us through the third person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit. We must not lose our humility and always walk in the fact that we are God’s children and we, who follow Jesus, are under his authority. He is Truth, this God/Man is Truth. Truth is a person not an ideal. Truth is not a feeling.
Humility is not seen much in this world. We must believe what God says about us and that is that we were dead in sin. Hopelessly lost, now saved by Grace through Christ Jesus.
Wisdom is always needed.  Not earthly Wisdom but True Wisdom that comes from God.
I read in scripture that Jesus first gives us strong and serious warnings to be aware of anyone’s teaching and the way to measure them is by “whose authority” do they speak, lead, guide, or teach?

So, Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” John 8:28

 

In James 3:1 James implores us “do not run” to teach and/or lead…”Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.) These gifts are surely costly gifts and come with heavy accountability before God.

 

What does Wise Living look like? In James chapters 1 and 2 is a pearl for living well and whole and fleshing out what we believe…
The wise woman will persevere


She cannot stop praising God or referencing God in her daily life.

She is slow to speak and quick to listen.


She is gentle, gentle, gentle!


She is a “doer” of God’s Word.


She leads a life of purity, not innocence but purity. There is no malice in her heart. She is not trying to gain reward for herself only for Jesus. We are called to “know Jesus” (intimately), and to make Him known (by our words, actions, and the intent of our heart.)


She does not show favoritism.


She controls her tongue.I

So knowledge without Truth is evil. Truth stands alone without my opinion.  Who I let teach or influence me matters. I shall I my self and all friends out there to take the time to really read and know the Bible so you will not be led astray. I can only hold up each one to the test of God’s Word outlined above.

Thinking on the page…

 

 

 

 

 

Bell Fright

door wooden bell old

Photo by Little Visuals

 

Her hooded gray blue eyes are unexpectedly bright

She speaks of the “old days, the days of Bell Fright

The terror, relentless ringing in the darkest hour of the night.

 

Communism she says, “did not deliver futures bright.”

Just more betrayal and fear, and torture called Bell Fright.

Not the Nazis, no but Comrades Stalin and Marx

Different regimes but same death toll ringing in their hearts.

 

Haunting broken melodies played on Hungarian violins

She still shivers with the memories of dark dank cells

She says  no one ever knew before  it could be so cold in hell.

 

This poem is inspired by the book Goodbye to Budapest by Margarita Morris and to all who have survived the Bell Fright of dictators of evil.

 

 

Come Share with Me…

grass field during golden hour

 

Hey let’s bend the light and pretend we’re sitting together on the back porch this September Texas evening. Come share it with me. Share the fact we are getting older and it is a fact we are still learning to love Jesus and man we really don’t love others well without him present. Let’s share our weakness and our strengths and how religious formulas are not why Jesus came for us.
Come share with me that we humans struggle with being exposed. That we try to behave a certain way and look a certain way so that we can belong. Let’s share that we are concerned about aging and health and what our kids and grandkids are facing in their future. Each generation succeeds and fails in some way. Let’s share that doing good is its own reward privately before our Lord. Let’s share sometimes life is so lonely but at other times so joyful we weep and laugh with thanks.
Let’s celebrate our blessings and grieve our lost dreams with humility. Together let’s take ownership of our relationships that failed and the mercy in the ones that succeeded.
Share my sojourn and yours with me. How God in his amazing Grace saved us when we did not deserve it. Let’s bask together in Truth and redemption and healing. Most of all let’s sit humbly and quietly embracing our humanity and God’s lavish unending love and goodness to us. Let’s say we are sorry, we forgive, and we rejoice in all that is this crazy ride called life.
Let’s share this September Texas sunset and Praise The Holy and thank him for the gift of each other and for giving us one more day to learn to love Him and each other better. Will you come and sit a while?

“A friend loveth at all times.”. Proverbs 17:17