I hold you now with such unfailing love…

woman carrying a baby

Photo by Kristina Paukshtite

If I die tomorrow my sweet grandbabies won’t remember

how I held and rocked and loved them with all I’ve got.

They will not know I sang them songs made up just for them,

or how I prayed everyday of my life

that they will follow the call of God.

I hold you now with such unfailing love though

I will not be here to keep every grief at bay

I hope you’ll feel these arms holding you now

and know I am yours Forever and a day.

When Coca-Cola only came in a bottle

photo of person holding bottle

Photo by alleksana

 

When Coca-Cola only came in a bottle

now seems like halcyon days in my mind.

I know there is no such thing as the good old days,

still it was the simplest of times.

We had one car families and all walked to school,

time moved slower because it had to.

There was not such a rush to grow up and move on.

The days were full and the nighttime warm.

When Coca-Cola only came in a bottle

all was right in my world.

 

Deep Purple Pain

 

purple abstract illustration

Photo by Anni Roenkae 

 

Weary days of  fear and foe

Deep purple pain just won’t let go

All through the day and into the night

Grief and anger fires burn bright.

 

My country weeps and cracks inside

Believers pray and mother’s cry

Dear God please hear us as we pray

We are sorry that we act this way.

 

Deep purple pain upon The Cross

No one else could pay the cost

Let us walk in your Salvation now

and humbly at your feet bow down.

Her breathing is God singing…

christ the redeemer

Photo by Matheus Bertelli 

 

Her tiny toddler body lays wrapped against mine.

Her breathing is God singing, His Love her sigh.

No guile no malice no doubt or fear.

Her precious hands show me God is near.

She whispers my name as she falls asleep.

Never a sweeter word has been spoken to me.

My heart could burst open when I smell her sweet head.

If there is a treasure on earth more than this I choose this song instead.

The Shell Seeker

 

 

brown sand

Photo by Miri

Standing on the highest sand dune people moved back and forth on the ground below.  She no longer has their youthfulness of an unlined face but she knew she finally possessed the joy of ageless Grace. The pilgrimage called her to this beautiful place. The wind and the sun an old friend on her face.

Now she is the shell seeker in the wide brimmed hat, as a child playing in the sun she’d laughed at people like that. She remembers younger  days when she grew weary but now the days of peace are what linger here.  Emotions don’t obey the rules they are the heartbeat in being human.  Like waves reaching the shore emotions can be kept for a moment but are better when given away.

The shell seeker’ s eye remains clear and adept while watching the children play. She knows that life is not going back but more of giving it away. The Truth is, life consists in learning and loving well with Grace underneath God’s sun.  To remain whole in the midst of life’s ups and downs, to surrender all secrets and lies is anointing oil to the soul. To shed insincerity and live in the present, the waves echo behind her now compelling her to go on.

Nothing about Love is passive…

purple flowers

Photo by Nadi Lindsay

 

Wisteria vines will grow on walls, over other plants  and  along the weathered splintered gray fence that is long forgotten. The vine of Wisteria is thick and knarled and strong…

The fragrance of the low hanging purple clumps of flowers permeated the bright spring day and it made her feel lightness in her heart that she had not experienced in a long while. She thought about how precious her memories of first love are. There in lies the treasure. It is in the pleasure and the pain…if you allow it,  first love leads to the Truth that we know nothing much of love.

She is older now and reflects back often on what she thought love was as a young woman or rather perhaps she was simply in love with what she thought love was. She loved but then she lived. In that living she learned that love is tough as nails. Love is knarled like the Wisteria vine. Love will grow over barriers and around obstacles still blooming and still fragrant. Love is having the strength to stay. Love is a wild and furious risk, a pouring out of all that one can from that cup and drink it. Love is rich and poor. Love is sickness and health. Love is a verb, an action word. Nothing about love is passive. Love cannot be manipulated. Love. Risks. Everything. The Holy God is Love’s name…ponder this, ponder Him…you will find Him because Love never quits and perfect Love cast out all fear and Love never ever fails.

 

 

 

Jesus Knows…

woman lying on rock

Photo by Eternal Happiness

 

As I lay down my head in week six of this catastrophe I just want to say if you can fall asleep but not stay asleep that is okay. If a myriad of emotions and logic are surfing on your brain waves it’s ok. If you fall asleep and wake on a couch or a child’s room it’s ok. If you are praying more it’s ok. If you cannot find the words to pray it’s okay. If you are a conqueror one minute and not so brave the next minute it’s ok. If there are a hundred thoughts and feelings lying under the five you speak it’s ok. If you mourn for the dead and grieve for our globe it’s ok. These are where the avenues of grief and change and loss take us. It is ok. If you are active in politico or have turned all media completely off it’s okay. For it is not strength to pretend you are thriving in uncertainty and that you struggle with doubt and fear. It is in our weaknesses and doubts that God comes near. He is not limited not tethered to a cosmic heavenly throne. He is right here with us in our fragility and we are not alone. Jesus knows every cell of human bondage. He knows of courage being one heartbeat away from fear. Jesus is Emmanuel, God with us and He is with us now. So rest your weary head in his comfort when you can. I have seen His beauty and have tasted His goodness and it is a healing balm. Lay down your head and rest my friends for tomorrow we will try again. There is victory in His power over things we can’t understand. I have seen His Salvation in life and in death and He has never forgotten not one of His own since before the foundation of the world. Shalom tonight dear world. As for me I have tasted and have seen the goodness of the Lord and He is more than we can fathom and so if today you fell apart it’s okay because He never will…

Bloody Cotton Bolls

cotton flower

Photo by Magda Ehlers 

 

I saw fields of cotton white as snow

as  blood red drops flowed down and soaked

those cotton fields and the earth below.

Yes the Blood dripped down on the cotton bolls.

 

As the Louisiana sun beat down that day

in June of 64 three boys came to say

we want to help you learn to vote

but they were shot down and the cotton was soaked.

 

Blood of black men drip down so slow

from the cottonwood tree  the bodies swinging low

No one would help them, they were all alone

and the sun went down on the bloody cotton bolls.

Tipping Day

a person with foot up in the air

Photo by João 

 

The sun has slanted across the sky

thoughts scroll through my mind then fly

That precise sliver in time

 

The see-saw is tipping to the down side

I slam and am jolted by the sand in my eyes

Suddenly a week seems like a lifetime

 

I know I never really controlled my world

The lie in my head where I thought I was safe

but being found in Christ I am not forsaken.

 

 

 

Emmet

green grass during sunset

Photo by Nathan Cowley

 

The daybreak drizzle has moved out to sea.

The dawning clouds are steel gray.

The wind is about 10 knots up from the Gulf Stream.

Nations have risen and fallen, two world wars, more political unrest, man has gone to the moon and the World Wide Web has come along, but nothing much has changed on this little wedge of the island.

The tide goes in and out.

The gulls and cranes still swoop and dive and the dolphin still dance. The beautiful gold sea oats continue to hold the sand dunes together…
But now you… have been born!

Your little smile, your hands and feet have changed everything.

I cannot smile without you.

There are very few words of wisdom I will give you as you grow up and let me into your world of sticks, and bugs, and rocks.

You will sleep the sleep of the blessed each night and when I get the chance I will tuck you in.

What I will do my grandson is love you. Love you unconditionally with all of my being and spirit.

Long after I am gone I will still watch over you and love you with a love that has no end.

The daybreak is clearer now, the sea breeze cleansing. The wars and internet have no meaning to me now.

The tide is a beautiful dance and all of God’s creatures perform just for you.

The sand dunes are for you to climb and my whole world is golden.