I wish our story was prettier than it is…

October 26, 2019 / jill autrey dorman

Photo by V gtrei

You took the hammer and rang the bell

Won me a stuffed animal with a cotton candy smell

but I dropped the dream and walked away

there was just no more games I wanted to play

I wish our story was prettier than it is

I stared for days at that Ferris wheel

no carnival or a carousel left to ride with you

at least I finally saw the Truth

You took the hammer and rang the bell

you said it isn’t working out so well

I wish there was prettier story to tell

like all the horses on the carousel

Everybody moving blindly forward…

October 24, 2019October 24, 2019 / jill autrey dorman

Photo by Matthew T Rader

Everybody moving blindly forward, like fish in a shoal

How long have we been losing touch with our souls?

Everybody hating what they can not understand

We surely did not gain good from the knowledge of evil

We surely forsook the only wise God and Creator

We tried to be our own gods but could not do it better

I know this is not how the story ends for His image bearers

I know the Master Writer’s plan can not be thwarted

Let it be oh Lord I pray our Faith be made sight today

The emptiness of my conceit and arrogance…

October 23, 2019November 16, 2019 / jill autrey dorman

Photo by Ionut Cerchia

As I sat in the still and In the mess

In the emptiness of my own conceit and arrogance

The old man with white hair said,

“these are your thorns to bear…”

When the only free person in the room

Is the one who is in chains

Then it is time to look at what man calls “justice”

Pontius Pilate could not deny his claims

It is in vulnerability that God’s Grace comes

It is in the mourning that the Grief is fulfilled

It is in the freedom of Truth that I want to run

It is in humility that true courage is spilled

The Legend of Annie Bell

October 20, 2019October 20, 2019 / jill autrey dorman

grayscale photo of woman having breakfast

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood

She never scoured with tears

Not her face, not her life, not her floor

She was as strong as the Mississippi’s speed

And tougher than the man who made her bleed

Relentless in love, quiet and strong was her way

Not hardened but not taking back her living

Until one day she took that shotgun round

The shot that rang out put him in the ground

She did not scour herself with tears

She washed herself clean in the blood

She held her head high for her children

That man would never make anyone else bleed again

I was flayed open with a razor sharp knife

October 15, 2019October 17, 2019 / jill autrey dorman

Photo by luizclas

He was the only one there in that dark still night

I was flayed open with a razor sharp knife

He said are you ready to rise from the dead?

Through sobs and his blood yes was all I said

He said I am the love you are counting on

I am the only One when all others are gone

I am the one who carries you when you fall

Through doubts and sorrow I’ve paid it all

He is the one who gave His all for me

He fought for me to the bloody end

And on that day when He rose again

He said I am all I have ever been

He held me there as life seeped in

He is everything no one else has been

He is my champion, teacher, Redeemer, and friend

He is the one I will count on until the end

I can’t cover up your sin

October 6, 2019October 7, 2019 / jill autrey dorman

Photo by Pixabay

She said I can’t go through this again

I can’t cover up your sin

Anymore…

She just kept walking down the road

Trying to drop that heavy load

Somewhere…

Oh the days go better than the nights

The prayers crack through a little light

Sometimes…

The storm blows in like a runaway train

Jesus is standing there calling her name

Again…

Where does Comfort hide on nights like this?

September 30, 2019September 30, 2019 / jill autrey dorman / 1 Comment

Photo by Engin Akyurt

Where does Comfort hide on nights like this

when I feel all the loss and the ones I miss?

Comfort dodges me like shadows on the wall

I know I must renew my mind or else I will surely fall…

Fall into doubt of my firm foundation

Fall into distortion of Evil’s confrontations

Fall into fear and lies of what lay ahead

So I will fight for my heart with His Sword of Truth

I will fan the flame of Faith I have had since my youth

I will rejoice that His Grace is sufficient thus far

and Grace will lead me on as I travel this star…

I will kneel at the foot of His Holy Cross

I will give thanks for all I have gained and not lost

So as the Comforter whispers His command of sweet Peace

The night shadows vanish and all shadows must cease

Now I will rest in the arms of my Heavenly Dad

and fall into the best sleep there is to be had

…and be renewed in the spirit of your mind… (Ephesians 4:23)

Come Share with Me…

September 25, 2019September 25, 2019 / jill autrey dorman

Hey let’s bend the light and pretend we’re sitting together on the back porch this September Texas evening. Come share it with me. Share the fact we are getting older and it is a fact we are still learning to love Jesus and man we really don’t love others well without him present. Let’s share our weakness and our strengths and how religious formulas are not why Jesus came for us.
Come share with me that we humans struggle with being exposed. That we try to behave a certain way and look a certain way so that we can belong. Let’s share that we are concerned about aging and health and what our kids and grandkids are facing in their future. Each generation succeeds and fails in some way. Let’s share that doing good is its own reward privately before our Lord. Let’s share sometimes life is so lonely but at other times so joyful we weep and laugh with thanks.
Let’s celebrate our blessings and grieve our lost dreams with humility. Together let’s take ownership of our relationships that failed and the mercy in the ones that succeeded.
Share my sojourn and yours with me. How God in his amazing Grace saved us when we did not deserve it. Let’s bask together in Truth and redemption and healing. Most of all let’s sit humbly and quietly embracing our humanity and God’s lavish unending love and goodness to us. Let’s say we are sorry, we forgive, and we rejoice in all that is this crazy ride called life.
Let’s share this September Texas sunset and Praise The Holy and thank him for the gift of each other and for giving us one more day to learn to love Him and each other better. Will you come and sit a while?

“A friend loveth at all times.”. Proverbs 17:17