Magen veLo Yera’e (Defender that shall not be seen.)

switched beige table lamp

Photo by 祝 鹤槐

Like silver liquid the moonlight poured over my head spilling down my back renewing my eyes and my mind…

I had stepped outside the hospital to get a breath of fresh air. It had been a long shift and my body, mind, and spirit had grown weary…

As often happens to nurses, I often received words, tokens and notes of thanks and appreciation throughout my career from patients and families, and each one is so very meaningful…

Loss is hopefully made a bit more endurable by compassion and kindness. It is perhaps the truest calling of a nurse, for inside of me lives “Magen veLo Yera’e” which in Hebrew means “Defender that shall not be seen.” Of course, that Defender is not me but the Spirit of Jesus abiding in me. For there is no one good but God as Jesus said, so I know it isn’t me doing it, but I digress…

As I look back over the past forty years my memory runs to the many wonderful people, I have had the privilege to care for and their families. For some there is a reluctance to embrace the future and losing meaning of the past. For some they linger in the pre-dawn haze digesting an outcome they perhaps always knew was coming.

The greatest gift these people have given me is the privilege and opportunity to see that God’s design of our longing to live is not a fragile thing. It is in fact the very strongest thing about us. Yes, our physical bodies wear out with time or disease. Ah, but the soul, the spirit of a person, it fights for life! We were designed for life not death and that is why the “Unseen One who defends us” is the Holy Spirit who lives within those who believe.

Jesus told his follower that He would send us the exact essence of himself in the person of the Holy Spirit to comfort us, to guide, and teach us about Him. It is the transforming phase of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus that He sent us the Holy Spirit, who is unseen but defends us all the way into eternal life.

This is one of the many gifts that nursing has been to me for I have seen, I have witnessed the presence of the Magen veLo Yera’e. He is faithful. He is comfort. He is Peace. He is Jesus the Christ, the presence of the Holy God himself. Jesus is the gift of eternal life and the forever Defender of our Faith and there is a day coming for each of us when we will see Him face to face and we will know Him in Spirit and in Truth. So, when the night is long and dark and grief comes and hope seems so silent I remember the “thank you” from my patients, other human beings just like me with whom I am allowed to care for, hold a hand, say a prayer, shed a tear, and talk of our loved ones we will miss and already miss. Oh yes, there is much physical  technical data in taking of lab work, blood pressures, procedures, surgeries, and various myriads of daily physical care. But the expressions of “thank you” and the bittersweet outcomes are more than a gift.  I have been gifted with the precious sight of a Child of God being carried home in the arms of the Magen veLo Yera’e, the unseen shield, the Holy Defender of God’s precious people.

Seven months ago, my own Mother who was not acutely ill but was called home from this body while all alone was in fact not alone at all,  the unseen defender was present to the very end.
In this season of giving gifts I am like the little drummer boy…I have no gift to bring before my King but the thanksgiving of letting me know some of His children in this intimate way and being an eye witness to the presence of Magen veLo Yera’e, The unseen miraculous presence of The Holy.
So, you see there is much more to our Christmas celebration of the Jesus Child for with Him he brought all we need for life and godliness.

It began to astound me (the good confession)

photo of person on bridge

Photo by Andy Vu

 

It began to astound me, I cry out, oh God help!

Truth has become a catch phrase of Hell!

Man has his face in the gutter with his booze!

Woman is killing herself for the fountain of youth!

Children with no interest in conversation or humanity!

Babies without voices filling up the heavens!

Churches re-phrasing God’s word to suit their situation!

Politician ‘s rumors and counter rumors spew!

Evil’s darkness lies in wait for a chance to consume!

The one in the shackles is the only one free in the room!

It begin to astound me that I must always agree with you

Or be outcast as a biggot or hatemonger or shrew!

 

So I will trust in the purity and promises of God

Who is good and loving in all his ways!

I will search the horizon  both morning and night

for that final wave to break upon the shore

when there will be no dying or crying anymore!

For it is a fool who says there is no God!

Yet I am astounded even more at His ever lasting love!

His mercies are new every morning!

I count each day to  be the day of His glory!

May this be the time my faith will be sight!

Was there ever a more astounding  day to  ponder!

 

 “…but you, oh child of God flee these things and pursue godliness, faith, love patience, gentleness. Fight the Good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were called and have confessed…”  1 Timothy 6:11

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sweetest Hallelujah

 

 

photo of child s hand playing clay

Photo by Kate Romeo

These small child’s hand prints on my glass backdoor

the sticky applesauce and popsicle on my kitchen floor

I wouldn’t trade for all the mansions in this world.

 

These conversations with my daughters

the new territories in this journey

I wouldn’t miss for all the fame this world could offer

 

These days I count as precious gems

to the road that leads me found the bend

I will simply give my sweetest Hallelujah

White Sky

white feathers illustration

Photo by Aleksandr Slobodianyk

 

The galaxies in the Night’s heaven are like living poetry

Your beautiful idea happening right in front of me

The air is clear and crisp in a season of knowing

Joy and grief, tears and smiles the evidence of living

Love falling down like white feathers all around 

I cherish your gifts to me Oh God, I see you in utter Holiness

Drift off into the opioid of sabotage…

 

grey cliff beside ocean

Photo by Simon Clayton

Do not let me go to sleep and drift off into the opioid of sabotage

Sin and persistent failures a cunning addiction 

I grow weary of all the brutal truth of how one must guard the deep longing of their heart

For I wander high upon the cliff and the sea glistens enchanted below

I envy your assurance but  find mine for my self

Though I am anxious to arrive I wish the journey to an end

A silence I cannot hear whispers of  the Living Water where there are no dangers hidden

 

“…if you would ask him he would give you living water…(John 4:10)

 

 

 

 

 

I Know…

 

aerial photo of boat on sea

Photo by Pok Rie

 

I was not your faithful friend

I was not truthful, no

I am not the best daughter, sister, wife, or mother

But I know The One who is all I have not been

 

The One who is a kind and faithful friend

The One who always tells the Truth, yes

The One who is the best in me that I cannot be

The One who’s is all I have not been

 

So when you think of how I let you down

And remember the times I did not live in truth

I want you to know that I know

Jesus is The One who is all I have not been

Sunshine (a poem by me in high school)

 

background beam beautiful close up

Photo by Pixabay 

Sunshine stay with me a while I haven’t had you for so long

You are gentle and make me laugh and sing a happy song

We will not speak of love unless it should happen to grow

We will just run and play,  you are a shelter from the cold

You are just the thing I need to help me heal again

There is no way of knowing if we will ever end

Sunshine stay with me a while we will both be free

You are just the thing I need, you let me be me

I wish our story was prettier than it is…

 

white and blue horse carousel

Photo by V gtrei

You took the hammer and rang the bell

Won me a stuffed animal with a cotton candy smell

but I dropped the dream and walked away

there was just no more games I wanted to play

 

I wish  our story was prettier than it is

I stared for days at that Ferris wheel

no carnival or a carousel  left to ride with you

at least I finally saw the Truth

 

You took the hammer and rang the bell

you said it isn’t working out so well

I wish there was prettier story to tell

like all the  horses on the carousel

 

 

Everybody moving blindly forward…

school of fish

Photo by Matthew T Rader

Everybody moving blindly forward, like fish in a shoal

How long have we been losing touch with our souls?

Everybody hating what they can not  understand

 

We surely did not gain good from the knowledge of evil

We surely forsook the only wise God and Creator

We tried to be our own gods but could not do it better

 

I know this is not how the story ends for His image bearers

I know the Master Writer’s plan can not be thwarted

Let it be oh Lord I pray  our Faith be made sight today