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Standing here under the brightest moon
I sense your presence like a cozy room
I feel your holy antiquity yet you make all things new
and now traveling North is true
I look over my shoulder at the past
and it is vanquished forever into long lost night
It never was what mattered to you at last
and no shadows can fall where there is only light
Photo by Garon Piceli
I lie down under the burden
of the courage that I lack
For you to see the sin in me
cannot be taken back
It is my greatest fear at times
you might finally know
The dark and filth I tasted once
I never want to show
Exposure of who I really am
could it drive your love away?
After all you’re only human
dare I hope that you would stay?
The truth of exposure that I fear
is a mystery not of loss
But a debt that is fully paid
willingly hung upon a Cross
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I have a Story given me by my Maker
A heart fierce yet ravaged ever in need of saving
I’ve been given clear eyes to see the Holy One
To shed tears of remorse washing away bitterness
And I’ve been given healing in these two hands
To share the balm I have received and know that Hope remains
I have not seen all the wonders of this world
I have not walked with the noble nor do I own anything of worth
I have not known wealth or fame but I do know joy and pain
And I’ve been given life and love far beyond all earthly gain
I pray for humility and a heart full of gratitude running over
To share the balm I have received and know that Hope remains
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At times my heart is like a quivering bird in this cage of Flesh and bone
I know it will not withstand such a relentless seige
At times my heart is like a big bass drum
I know it will strike strong with the rhythm and the beat!
It feels as if I am dying and I cannot stay the course
Then it feels as if I am a warrior crying out “all is victorious!”
Some say this is a fickle heart but I know this is not true
For I know this heart in me comes from the heart in you!
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He heals the wounds of a ravaged heart
oh fathom lavish love!
Drink his grace straight up
fill oh fill my cup!
No one else will care like this
oh death where is thy sting?
Drink his grace straight up
fill oh fill my cup!
Cannot add to him or take him away
oh pure the bread and wine!
Drink his grace straight up
fill oh fill my cup!
Photo by HARSH KUSHWAHA
God spoke, “I looked, but there was no one to help; I was appalled, but there was no one to uphold; so my own arm brought me salvation, and my righteous wrath upheld me.” Isaiah 63:5
The theology (meaning study of…) of the Cross vs. The theology of Glory jumped out at me while reading again the book called The Gospel According to Job by Mike Mason which I have been reading for over five years along with The Discipline of Disturbance by Hud McWilliams, who has been my spiritual mentor for over twenty-nine years.
All of that to say it absolutely astounded me when I realized that there is no glory in the Cross. The monumental indescribable event that took place on that cross was one of absolutely NO glory yet it is exactly that event on that cross that makes Glory for you and I a legitimate option through the obedience of Jesus to die on that cross. and be given by God the Father the Sovereign rule forever. It stirred me so that I could not eat or sleep.
The spirituality of the Cross and those of us who trust in The One who died up on it is that it seeks God and ONLY God and here is the kicker, the work on the cross of Jesus would accept NO GLORY! There is no glory in sin. God himself is the significant value of the Cross!!! Jesus humbled himself only seeking God’s will and then doing it.
Glory to God is useless if humans conjure it up in themselves. We see it all around us in the Church. A mega church boasting about their numbers of attendance. The church member who judges others who cannot seem to overcome their sin issues but never repenting of their own or the supposed Christian celebrities that millions follow on social media and accept their teachings because they are popular.
The Glory belongs to Jesus and Jesus alone, who’ s very essence is God, yet on that cross he was a son, a man who had not sought ANY glory for himself only his Father’s.
“Never build your case for forgiveness on the idea that God is our Father and He will forgive us because he loves us. God forgives sin ONLY because of the death of Christ…anything that LESSENS the holiness of God through a false view of His love, contradicts the truth of God as REVEALED by Jesus Christ…” Oswald Chambers
The lesson is that the Cross is for those who will walk by simple faith seeking no glory of our own. Oh that I might grasp this Truth today and everyday for one day my Faith will be made sight and the glory will be more than eternity can hold. Not mine but His.
“The Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing but to those who are being saved it is the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 1:18
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Road maps and rivers cannot get me there
A shadow at my window but no one is there
Texas prairie home
a song of love or two
It’s essential every second the time that’s reckoned you
Road maps and rivers
two girls in my heart
The sound of their hello my only travel chart
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Like a message in a bottle bobbing in the water
Sun bleached and salty skinned I washed upon the shore
I am made from stronger stuff than it appeared
being born an old soul, competent and sure
I wished for middle ground, something I could manage
But grief always takes sides in things that really matter
The literal peeling of my skin and raw down to the marrow
I wanted to die and be done with the making of this sorrow
Then a warm hand put a cup of water to my mouth
I lapped it up as if water wasn’t all around me
A voice said, ” I am grief and I am not here to take you under
But you must take a side in things that really matter.”
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Blue crystal deepest ocean
Hot sun high in the sky
The devil came to Cuba
Had to run or die
You came seeking refuge
The way so unclear
Fighting hard for freedom
You let me see the years
We are old and wise now
We cannot count the “ifs”
I still hear your Latin song
And taste Cuba on my lips
When in the winter a year grows old
there lay a thickness upon the world
Shadows of old stories I heard long ago
of great deeds against the darkness
Faith and bread unto the soul
The Champion over evil
in a waking dream
tho’ he carried with Him no light
Light lingers where he’s been…
Jill Autrey Dorman 