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I lift my eyes
from all that is broken
from the ashes of idols
from lies that are spoken
I lift my eyes
from this earthen vessel
from unanswered questions
from the unfulfilling morsels
I lift my eyes
the window of my soul
to the heaven’s Creator
to The One who has control
I lift my eyes
where my Faith will be made sight
at His appearing I will see
The Defender and Lover of my soul
has His eyes on me
Photo by Marcelo Jaboo
I thought I had known agony
least ways had tasted its edges
but now tasting it fully
it uproots my heart as it dredges
This is a new agony
one more step off the cliff
Did I think Death not an enemy
how mortal is my wish?
There are events we must do alone
this loss cannot be shared
Yet in the middle of the night I wept
when I felt your Presence there
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I am a writer. Writers love to read other writers. I can only speak for myself but I like to read to see if I can find that author who has written something I have never read before. I have always been an adroit reader and have read profound words but honestly they have been said before. I have read deeply meaningful stories but they have been told before because we know, according to The Preacher, that there is “nothing new under the sun.”
But what if, what if someone’s words drive a stake into the ground right where you are standing? Or what if someone’s story breaks the chains of your heart and your own story comes to life?
That is the treasure hunt for me. The words, the expressions, the Truth, and the lies…like looking for sea shells for hours and hours and days and days seeing each one as beautifully written. The broken shells, the beautifully colored ones, the plain ones, the big ones, the little ones…all treasures.
In the end of it all I still come back to the most profound words I have ever read and these words DO drive a stake into the earth where I am standing and they DO keep me grounded and rooted in the life I have been given. This author is the only One who has broken the chains of my heart and allowed my own story to come to life…
Just a handful of words you say…yea and what a handful of words they are!
“I am the light of the world. I am the bread of life. I am the Resurrection and the Life. I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. I am the door of the sheep. I am the Good Shepherd. I am the True Vine. If you have seen Me then you have seen the Father. I am the Alpha and Omega. I am the Lamb that was slain. I go to prepare a place for you so that where I am you may be there also…”
…and when I looked I saw you Oh Beauty! The Cherubim hovering above the Holy High God’s throne. Your total attention on the Holy Wisdom God himself imparted to you so that you could impart his will to the Celestial Armies…then for a millisecond your eyes darted away…your royal beauty reflected in your armor of precious gems and gold…No longer were you worshipping God but yourself, oh Lucifer why? Why did you let your created beauty and access to Godly Wisdom deceive you? All created beings are worshippers but only of The Holy One who is right, true, and just…so you and those you deceived were cast out forever! Your beauty is decay. Your wisdom is a lie…now you roam this earth seeking whom you may devour but you have been exposed to us by the power of the Cross of Jesus Christ, the Resurrected King of Glory!
Shadow Boxer
glitters like gold!
Shapeshifter lies
have all been told!
His candy is poison
but sure taste sweet!
He shadow boxes
down on Deception Street!
Shadow Boxer betrays
with silver, he stole!
His beauty hides his
evil lust for control!
oh your fall from the heavens
like a burning star
shook the deep of this earth
what a falling was there!
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At times my heart is like a quivering bird in this cage of Flesh and bone
I know it will not withstand such a relentless seige
At times my heart is like a big bass drum
I know it will strike strong with the rhythm and the beat!
It feels as if I am dying and I cannot stay the course
Then it feels as if I am a warrior crying out “all is victorious!”
Some say this is a fickle heart but I know this is not true
For I know this heart in me comes from the heart in you!
Photo by HARSH KUSHWAHA
God spoke, “I looked, but there was no one to help; I was appalled, but there was no one to uphold; so my own arm brought me salvation, and my righteous wrath upheld me.” Isaiah 63:5
The theology (meaning study of…) of the Cross vs. The theology of Glory jumped out at me while reading again the book called The Gospel According to Job by Mike Mason which I have been reading for over five years along with The Discipline of Disturbance by Hud McWilliams, who has been my spiritual mentor for over twenty-nine years.
All of that to say it absolutely astounded me when I realized that there is no glory in the Cross. The monumental indescribable event that took place on that cross was one of absolutely NO glory yet it is exactly that event on that cross that makes Glory for you and I a legitimate option through the obedience of Jesus to die on that cross. and be given by God the Father the Sovereign rule forever. It stirred me so that I could not eat or sleep.
The spirituality of the Cross and those of us who trust in The One who died up on it is that it seeks God and ONLY God and here is the kicker, the work on the cross of Jesus would accept NO GLORY! There is no glory in sin. God himself is the significant value of the Cross!!! Jesus humbled himself only seeking God’s will and then doing it.
Glory to God is useless if humans conjure it up in themselves. We see it all around us in the Church. A mega church boasting about their numbers of attendance. The church member who judges others who cannot seem to overcome their sin issues but never repenting of their own or the supposed Christian celebrities that millions follow on social media and accept their teachings because they are popular.
The Glory belongs to Jesus and Jesus alone, who’ s very essence is God, yet on that cross he was a son, a man who had not sought ANY glory for himself only his Father’s.
“Never build your case for forgiveness on the idea that God is our Father and He will forgive us because he loves us. God forgives sin ONLY because of the death of Christ…anything that LESSENS the holiness of God through a false view of His love, contradicts the truth of God as REVEALED by Jesus Christ…” Oswald Chambers
The lesson is that the Cross is for those who will walk by simple faith seeking no glory of our own. Oh that I might grasp this Truth today and everyday for one day my Faith will be made sight and the glory will be more than eternity can hold. Not mine but His.
“The Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing but to those who are being saved it is the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 1:18
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Blue crystal deepest ocean
Hot sun high in the sky
The devil came to Cuba
Had to run or die
You came seeking refuge
The way so unclear
Fighting hard for freedom
You let me see the years
We are old and wise now
We cannot count the “ifs”
I still hear your Latin song
And taste Cuba on my lips
I met a young sweet boy in high school. He was trying to find his way to manhood with a heart so kind and fragile. I, as well, had no idea how to handle the heart of anyone. I desired to be careful yet there is an “innocent ignorance” of youth that is just brutal…
This boy thought that I was unattainable as he watched me from afar laughing with other boys… Oh the angst of those lovely awful years of high school! None of us can know the “power” we have to hurt others…I certainly didn’t.
I liked high school for mostly social reasons. Academically I was only interested in English Lit, and writing with a little bit of interest in history. I suppose I was a “cool kid” in the world of “labels” that befall us in high school. However I was terrified of being a fake. I will never forget one of my classmates who could cut you deeply with his wit…he reminded us almost all of the time that we were ALL fake! I just love that he did that. (Thank you Bill)
One day the sweet boy waited for me after school and asked if he could give me a ride in his car. I said yes and his face turned red. At the time I had no idea how much courage that took but I understand it now. After all the possibility of rejection drives the human soul to craziness.
Now it is some forty years later but I have never forgotten that gentle boy…he went his way and made his life. He is a man now. A good man. I knew he would be…and even now I will smile when I remember what he said to me one day…”you are beautiful inside and out”…such few words yet having a major impact. I took those words with me from that day. I have tried to live up to them and failed many times. It made me want to be a better person…it still makes me want to be better…Thank you sweet boy…I remember…
“now to see things clear is hard enough I know while you’re waiting for reality to show…but when you have a real friend somewhere it makes all the others so much easier to bear…” Jackson Browne
She was pulled into the boxcar with a burning jerk to her arms with dogs barking from behind. She could not think a straight thought in her head so she must be losing her mind.
Just a day ago she was laughing and dancing and playing in the sun. The evening brought screaming and raping now her parents are gone.
Suddenly jostled from a dream where she was safe and warm. The dead dark of night brought more cries of agony raining down like a storm.
Now she is ordered to walk into the woods and not speak to anyone. She focuses her eyes on her old sturdy shoes the tops of them all covered in blood and urine.
She can hear her Father’s voice so gentle and kind. Reminding her not to fear the hard path for God is on her side.
“He will not ever leave you nor forsake you nor will he disregard your state. He provides you with strong shoes to walk the hard path.”
Jill Autrey Dorman 